Don't Forget Chewbacca and "Shitty" intrest rates

Great News! I'm proud to announce that Disco has come full circle and has returned to greatness with victories over Super Macho Man and Mike Tyson last night. Disco's next Nintendo challenge will be to once again defeat JAWS! Good luck Disco.

File this (true)story under really making a deposit.

As you know The Gootch recently had surgery to remove his gall bladder. The pain meds he was taken caused him to be constipated and he was backed up for a few days. Well while The Gootch was opening up a saving account at the bank the traffic jam in The Gootch's bowels cleared and he shat himself right in the bank managers office!!

I was watching Return of the Jedi the other day and a lot of stuff jumped out at me. First was that Jedi was on it's way to becoming the best of the trilogy, right up until, Han and the gang land on the moon of Endor. Those frigin Ewoks suck, the almost ruin the whole movie. Little hairy turds that look like Chewbacca's poop, then the part where they think C3PO is a god, just awful. My favorite part is when that 2 legged imperial walker is going around blasting all the Ewok's, the only good Ewok is a dead Ewok.
On HBO now they superimpose some of shit from the lousy prequels. The one that drove me most nuts is at the end when the alliance is partying on Endor they show the sprits of Yoda, Ben Canobe and Anikan Skywalker. They used to show the actor that played the dying Darth Vader in that scene but they changed it to show that awful actor that played Anikan in the prequels, Hans Christenson or whatever his name is. Please keep those new movies separate from the real ones, that Hans Christenson is a terrible actor, he almost single handedly ruined one of the best characters in movie history. His dialog with Natalie Portman sounds more like a retard scene from that show Life Goes On instead of a Jedi warrior speaking to a Senator.
I'm sure people will think I'm crazy but I swear to god I seen Christopher Walken in Jedi playing an officer on an Executive Class Star Destroyer. It's towards the end when Han and the crew shut down the empire's shields and Lando and the rebel fleet start taking the fight to the empire. He's looking out a window with another officer as a x-wing that's been shot down kamikaze's into there craft and his only line is "IT'S TOO LATE!" and then his ship explodes.
I also watched The Empire Strikes Back the other day, and what a piece of shit Luke is. While training on the Dagobar system with yoda, he keeps bitching about having to go back to help his friends, Han and Leah. WHAT ABOUT CHEWY! Luke never once mentioned his name while bitching to Yoda about going back. Chewy was the one that met Old Ben back on Tatoine and got them the trip to Alderan on the Millennium Falcon, he was there on the death star when they rescued Leah, he was on Hoth when the empire invaded and again helped Leah escape the empire, but all Luke ever mentions is Han and Leah, Han and Leah. The real reason Luke wanted to go back so badly was to cock block Han. At the time he didn't know Leah was his sister and he didn't want Han and Leah to spend to much time together since he wanted to bang Leah. I feel bad for Chewbacca, he has the biggest heart of all the characters, he wanted to stay with the alliance when Han wanted to leave and remember how sad he was when Han and Luke were stuck outside for the night on freezing Hoth.

More proof that the Caucus's have to go. Hilary wins the percentage but Obama got more delegates in Nevada? So who really won?
Also in Nevada Shit Romney won big time.It figures since stupid sand people don't know what's going on anyway. But McCain got the real victory in South Carolina. That's a big victory for Johnny Boy.

After everything was said and done in SC McCain campaign manager Ricky Davis shot me a text message, which I will share with you:

Tonight the voters of South Carolina gave John McCain an important victory on his path to the Republican Nomination.
Now that John McCain has won both the New Hampshire and South Carolina primaries, he has passed the historical test for Republican candidates and is on course to win. He has the momentum, the drive, and is the only candidate that is ready to lead on day one - and he will!
Although we celebrate a big win tonight, we know that we still have a lot more work ahead of us. Most importantly, we need to prepare for elections in Florida on January 29th and in all the states on "Super Tuesday," February 5th.



So like a retiree the election moves to Florida where things get really interesting.

It's in Florida where Rudy plans to actually run for president. He's been a no show everywhere else, even coming in last in both races on Saturday. Rudy has thrown all his eggs into the Florida basket, will see this weekend if it was a sound strategy or foolhardy to think he can punt, NH, Iowa, Wyoming, Nevada, and SC. Then win an Florida and get back in the race. Hopefully McCain gets the old fart vote and takes Florida too!

Check out all the people close to the Clintons that have mysteriously died:

James McDougal - Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key witness in Ken Starr's investigation.
Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former DNC Chairman. Reported to have died by impact in a plane crash. A pathologist close to the investigation reported that there was a hole in the top of Brown's skull resembling a gunshot wound. At the time of his death Brown was being investigated, and spoke publicly of his willingness to cut a deal with prosecutors.
Vince Foster - Former white House councilor, and colleague of Hillary Clinton at Little Rock's Rose law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the head, ruled a suicide.
A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just as she was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.
C. Victor Raiser II - & - Montgomery Raiser: Major players in the Clinton fund raising organization died in a private plane crash in July 1992. Paul Tulley - Democratic National Committee Political Director found dead in a hotel room in Little Rock, September 1992. Described by Clinton as a "Dear friend and trusted advisor". Ed Willey - Clinton fund raiser, found dead November 1993 deep in the woods in Virginia of a gunshot wound to the head. Ruled a suicide. Ed Willey died on the same day his wife Kathleen Willey claimed Bill Clinton groped her in the oval office in the White House. Ed Willey was involved in several Clinton fund raising events. Jerry Parks - Head of Clinton's gubernatorial security team in Little Rock. Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside Little Rock. Park's son said his father was building a dossier on Clinton. He allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files were mysteriously removed from his house. James Bunch - Died from a gunshot suicide. It was reported that he had a "Black Book" of people containing names of influential people who visited prostitutes in Texas and Arkansas. James Wilson - Was found dead in May 1993 from an apparent hanging suicide. He was reported to have ties to Whitewater. Kathy Ferguson - Ex-wife of Arkansas Trooper Danny Ferguson died in May 1994 was found dead in her living room with a gunshot to her head. It was ruled a suicide even though there were several packed suitcases, as if she was going somewhere. Danny Ferguson was a co-defendant along with Bill Clinton in the Paula Jones lawsuit. Kathy Ferguson was a possible corroborating witness for Paula Jones. Bill Shelton - Arkansas state Trooper and fiancée of Kathy Ferguson. Critical of the suicide ruling of his fiancée, he was found dead in June, 1994 of a gunshot wound also ruled a suicide at the gravesite of his fiancée. Gandy Baugh - Attorney for Clinton friend Dan Lassater died by jumping out a window of a tall building January, 1994. His client was a convicted drug distributor. Florence Martin - Accountant - Sub-contractor for the CIA related to the Barry Seal Mena Airport drug smuggling case. Died of three gunshot wounds. Suzanne Coleman - Reportedly had an affair with Clinton when he was Arkansas Attorney General. Died of a gunshot wound to the back of the head, ruled a suicide. Was pregnant at the time of her death. Paula Grober - Clinton's speech interpreter for the deaf from 1978 until her death December 9, 1992. She died in a one car accident. Danny Casolaro - Investigative reporter. Investigating Mena Airport and Arkansas Development Finance Authority. He slit his wrists, apparent suicide in the middle of his investigation. Paul Wilcher - Attorney investigating corruption at Mena Airport with Casolaro and the 1980 "October Surprise" was found dead on a toilet June 22, 1993 in his Washington DC apartment. Had delivered a report to Janet Reno 3 weeks before his death. Jon Parnell Walker - Whitewater investigator for Resolution Trust Corp. Jumped to his death from his Arlington, Virginia apartment balcony August 15,1993 Was investigating Morgan Guarantee scandal. Barbara Wise - Commerce Department staffer. Worked closely with Ron Brown and John Huang. Cause of death unknown. Died November 29, 1996. Her bruised nude body was found locked in her office at the Department of Commerce. Charles Meissner - Assistant Secretary of Commerce who gave John Huang special security clearance, died shortly thereafter in a small plane crash. Dr. Stanley Heard - Chairman of the National Chiropractic Health Care Advisory Committee died with his attorney Steve Dickson in a small plane crash. Dr. Heard, in addition to serving on Clinton's advisory council personally treated Clinton's mother, stepfather and brother. Barry Seal - Drug running pilot out of Mena Arkansas, Death was no accident. Johnny Lawhorn Jr. - Mechanic, found a check made out to Clinton in the trunk of a car left in his repair shop. Died when his car hit a utility pole. Stanley Huggins - Suicide. Investigated Madison Guarantee. His report was never released. Hershell Friday - Attorney and Clinton fund raiser died March 1, 1994 when his plane exploded. Kevin Ives & Don Henry - Known as "The boys on the track" case. Reports say the boys may have stumbled upon the Mena Arkansas airport drug operation. Controversial case where initial report of death was due to falling asleep on railroad track. Later reports claim the 2 boys had been slain before being placed on the tracks. Many linked to the case died before their testimony could come before a Grand Jury
THE FOLLOWING SEVEN PERSONS HAD INFORMATION ON THE IVES / HENRY CASE:
Keith Coney - Died when his motorcycle slammed into the back of a truck July, 1988

Keith McMaskle - Died stabbed 113 times, Nov, 1988
Gregory Collins - Died from a gunshot wound January 1989.
Jeff Rhodes - He was shot, mutilated and found burned in a trash dump in April 1989.
James Milan - Found decapitated. Coroner ruled death due to natural causes.
Jordan Kettleson - Was found shot to death in the front seat of his pickup truck in June 1990.
Richard Winters - Was a suspect in the Ives / Henry deaths. Was killed in a set-up robbery July 1989.
THE FOLLOWING CLINTON BODYGUARDS ARE DEAD
Major William S. Barkley Jr.
Captain Scott J. Reynolds
Sgt. Brian Hanley
Sgt. Tim Sabel
Major General William Robertson
Col. William Densberger
Col. Robert Kelly
Spec. Gary Rhodes
Steve Willis
Robert Williams
Conway LeBleu
Todd McKeehan

This all makes me very nervous for my friend Joe Archer, he went stumping for the cunt up in NH.

Now from The Gootch a lot of words about the B's:
Great weekend for the B's, swept a home and home against the Rangers. The B's are only 4 points out the 4th slot in the East and due to the 3 divisions they can only be #1 in the east other than 4, and due to the Bad injuries this team has suffered they could be the #1and they can beat Ottawa. The B's due need at least 2 players at the deadline though another sniper on the wing and a good stay at home defenseman either by trade or free agent ( Dany Markov is still out there and playing in Russia), they should get most of the players back from injury but Manny Fernandez and Bergeron although he says he will be back, I think he will be lucky if he is back for Camp next year. But if we add 2 more players a forward and defenseman or at least a forward which is more important we can be very dangerous come playoff time. You add another forward and you healthy scratch Norkaleinan or Krecji and this team is suddenly scary and that Milan Lucic has a little Neely in him when Cam was young, there will never be another Neely but this kid might be the closest thing too him we will ever see.
Line 1
Murray
Savard
Sturm
Line 2
Kobasew
Metropolit
Lucic
Line 3
Axelsson
Kessel
Schaffer
Line 4
Thornton
Krecji
Norkaleinan
D1
Chara
Stuart
D2
Wideman
Ference
D3
Hnidy
Alberts
Goalies
Thomas
Auld

I want to give a HUGE big ups to The North Eastern credit union. A friend of mine's brother in law was tragically killed in an auto accident and The North Eastern credit union called his wife and told them not worry about paying the 9 grand they still owned for a car loan, that was mighty white of them.

I heard over the weekend that Christina Aguilera had her kid. That's good news, now Christina and concentrate on getting back in shape and shaking her ass on TV. Nobody does it better than Christina these days.

The other night while watching Jeopardy I seen a commercial for Dr.Phil with special guest Steven "Cojo" Cojocaru. Like watching Dr.Phil wasn't bad enough, too have this thing on as a guest is just too much to ask. Rumor has it that this was Heath Ledger was watching before he swallowed 2,680,520 pills to kill himself.


Birthdays:

Jan 19th-General Robert E. Lee, ugly bitch Janis Joplin, huge titied Dolly Parton, the late Damon Wayans brother Shawn and hot chick with a stupid name Drea De Matteo.

Jan 20th-Piece of dog shit Bill Maher, On Base machine Brian Giles, hot chick Rachel Perry and very hot chick Stacy Dash(seen above). Also on Jan 20 1961 President John F. Kennedy gives his memorable inaugural address that includes the words, "Ask not what your country can do for you.… but what you can do for your country"

So lets take a look at what JFK did for this country while he was president besides throwing hooker parties in the White House

Lets start with the bay of pigs ordeal. On April 17, 1961, Kennedy ordered the previously planned invasion of Cuba to proceed. With support from the CIA, in what is known as the Bay of Pigs Invasion, 1,500 U.S.-trained Cuban exiles, called "Brigade 2506," returned to the island in the hope of deposing Castro. However, Kennedy ordered the invasion to take place without U.S. air support. By April 19, 1961, the Cuban government had captured or killed the invading exiles, and Kennedy was forced to negotiate for the release of the 1,189 survivors. The failure of the plan originated in a lack of dialog among the military leadership, a result of which was the complete lack of naval support in the face of organized artillery troops on the island who easily incapacitated the exile force as it landed on the beach. After 20 months, Cuba released the captured exiles in exchange for $53 million dollars.

JFK also got the U.S. involved in a country called Vietnam, and we all know how that turned out. Let's not forget that it was Kennedy that helped the new Baath Party government led by Abdul Salam Arif in ridding Iraq of suspected leftists and Communists. In a Baathist bloodbath, the government used lists of suspected Communists and other leftists provided by the CIA, to systematically murder untold numbers of Iraq's educated elite — killings in which Saddam Hussein himself is said to have participated. The victims included hundreds of doctors, teachers, technicians, lawyers and other professionals as well as military and political figures.All this on top of killing Marylyn Monroe, it's no wonder why someone blew his brains out.

I could go on and on bashing JFK and his family, and I will but I'm saving stuff for his birthday.



Jan 21st-General with a cool name Stonewall Jackson, golf great Jack Nicolas, archer Geena Davis, NBA great (H)akeem Olajuwon, hot chick Baby Spice and fast driver Danny Healty.



Also on Jan 21st 1973 In Roe v. Wade, the United States Supreme Court rules that a woman has a constitutional right to an abortion during the first six months of pregnancy.

I've obtained some transcripts from that day, and I will share them with you.

Roe: The white zone is for immediate unloading passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

Wade: The white zone is for immediate unloading passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

Roe: The white zone is for immediate unloading passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

Wade: The white zone is for immediate unloading passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

Roe: The red zone is for loading and unloading passengers. There is no stopping in the white zone.

Wade: No. The white zone is for loading and unloading. There is not stopping in the red zone.

Roe: The red zone's always been for loading and unloading. There is no stopping in the white zone.

Wade: Don't tell me which zone's for stopping and which zone's for loading!

Roe: Listen, Wade, don't start your white zone shit again. There is just no stopping in the white zone.

Wade: Roe, why pretend? We both know what you're talking about. You want me to have an abortion.

Roe: It's really the only sensible thing to do. If it's done properly, therapeutically, there's no danger involved.


Jan 22nd-Super Cougar Diane Lane

Jan 23rd- Here's looking at you Humphrey Bogart, Founding Father John Hancock and the awesome Tiffani Amber Thiessan.

Thanks for reading

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