Merry Christmas everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a few days but Christmas is a crazy time of year. I've written some X-mas song parodies for you to enjoy.
Let it snow
Oh the weather outside is frightful, But the heroin is so delightful,And since we've no place to go,Lets do some blow! Lets do some blow!It doesn't show signs of Pausing,And I've bought some pills for popping,The lights are turned way down low,Lets do some blow! Lets do some blow!When we finally kiss goodnight,How I'll hate going out in the storm!But if you'll really tie my veins up tight,All the way home I'll be warm.Chapin is slowly dying,And, my dear, we're still good-bying,But as long as we have ya-yoLets do some blow! Lets do some blow!
Last Christmas - Wham
Last Christmas, I gave you my heartBut the very next day, I turned very gayThis year, since I'm a queerI'll give it to someone special
New Jack Wonderland
Sirens ring, are you listening, In the courtyard, the crack is glistening
A beautiful sight,We're nappy tonight.Walking in a New Jack wonderland.
Blow him away, is the new word
Here to stay is a new turd
He smokes from a bong,As we go along,
Here to stay is a new turd
He smokes from a bong,As we go along,
Walking in a New Jack wonderland.
In the courtyard we can do some blow man,
Smoke the crack we bought from Neno Brown
He'll say:Pookie Are sober?
We'll say: No man, But you can have a jobWhen you're in town.
Later on, the police conspire,
As the junkies light a fire
The cops are ready to raid,
The plans Neno made,
Walking in a New Jack wonderland.
In the courtyard we can do some blow man,
and smoke the crack we bought from Neno Brown
We'll have lots of fun doing blow man,Until the other junkies shake us down.
and smoke the crack we bought from Neno Brown
We'll have lots of fun doing blow man,Until the other junkies shake us down.
We got some blow, ain't it thrilling,
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll boot up and play, the crack whore way,
Walking in a New Jack wonderland.
The best gift story I've heard this Christmas is "someone"just giving his brother a plan white t-shirt for Christmas.
So they want to sell scratch tickets at dunkin dounuts now. That's such a terrible idea, it's already like pulling teeth just to get a large light w/4 equal, now you'll have some asshole in front of you saying "ah can I get a ham, egg and cheese on a bagel, a large French hazelnut vanilla half decafe , a number 7, 2 number 10's and what's that new one is that a $5 ticket......"
If you don't know the name Jose A. Rodriguez Jr. right now you will. He's the guy that's going to take the fall for destroying the tapes of the CIA using Waterboarding as a form of interrogation. The question is why he had to destroy the tapes at all. Shouldn't the CIA be able to use any means necessary to keep the people of this country safe. At the time of this "waterboarding" the country was still reeling from the 9/11 attacks, the Post Office had an anthrax problem, and Muslim asshole John Allen Muhammad was sniping people people at gas stations. Who can blame the CIA for integrating 2 High Level Al Qaeda members with any means at there disposal. Now Ted Kennedy stands on his soap box and wants to throw the people involved in jail, c'mon Ted, it's not like they were driving around shitfaced and downed some poor girl, now that would be a real crime. The fact is there hasn't been a terrorist attack on US soil since these pricks were waterboarded so instead of persecuting Rodriguez we should be shaking is hand and buying him a lap dance.
I highly recommend the Baconator from Wendy's. Meat, Bread & Cheese at it's finest.
The following is an drunk email from Fouraces to Roger Clemans wife:
The best gift story I've heard this Christmas is "someone"just giving his brother a plan white t-shirt for Christmas.
So they want to sell scratch tickets at dunkin dounuts now. That's such a terrible idea, it's already like pulling teeth just to get a large light w/4 equal, now you'll have some asshole in front of you saying "ah can I get a ham, egg and cheese on a bagel, a large French hazelnut vanilla half decafe , a number 7, 2 number 10's and what's that new one is that a $5 ticket......"
If you don't know the name Jose A. Rodriguez Jr. right now you will. He's the guy that's going to take the fall for destroying the tapes of the CIA using Waterboarding as a form of interrogation. The question is why he had to destroy the tapes at all. Shouldn't the CIA be able to use any means necessary to keep the people of this country safe. At the time of this "waterboarding" the country was still reeling from the 9/11 attacks, the Post Office had an anthrax problem, and Muslim asshole John Allen Muhammad was sniping people people at gas stations. Who can blame the CIA for integrating 2 High Level Al Qaeda members with any means at there disposal. Now Ted Kennedy stands on his soap box and wants to throw the people involved in jail, c'mon Ted, it's not like they were driving around shitfaced and downed some poor girl, now that would be a real crime. The fact is there hasn't been a terrorist attack on US soil since these pricks were waterboarded so instead of persecuting Rodriguez we should be shaking is hand and buying him a lap dance.
I highly recommend the Baconator from Wendy's. Meat, Bread & Cheese at it's finest.
The following is an drunk email from Fouraces to Roger Clemans wife:
How does it make you feel that your husband has lied and cheated everyone he has ever come in contact with or anyone that has admired him. He is a cheat and a liar and should beashamed of how he treated Red Sox fans(being a greedy hick) and baseball fans(being a selfish prick) He should admit what he has done and hope for forgiveness, he is a horrible man. I think your husband is the antichrist, I could be wrong but the facts point to him him being the unholiest creature that has ever walked the face of the earth. How does it make you feel that you have given birth to the spawnof Beazlebub and that everyone wishes he was dead or non-existent. I would like to donate to a charity but pleasee-mail me at fouraces4@thebrothers.com and let me know which charity I can donate to that you and your husband cannot have any access to the money as I do not trust you as far asI can throw your husband(which isn't far cause he is fat). Thanks for the time and I doubt you will answer this as you are probably a coward, no talent ass clown like your husband. Thanks and Merry Christmas
Sen. McCain emailed me this week and told me this touching X-mas story that I'll share with you
As a POW, my captors would tie my arms behind my back and then loop the rope around my neck and ankles so that my head was pulled down between my knees. I was often left like that throughout the night.
One night a guard came into my cell. He put his finger to his lips signaling for me to be quiet, and then loosened my ropes to relieve my pain. The next morning, when his shift ended, the guard returned and retightened the ropes, never saying a word to me.
A month or so later, on Christmas Day, I was standing in the dirt courtyard when I saw that same guard approach me. He walked up and stood silently next to me, not looking or smiling at me.
After a few moments had passed, he rather nonchalantly used his sandaled foot to draw a cross in the dirt. We stood wordlessly looking at the cross, remembering the true light of Christmas, even in the darkness of a Vietnamese prison camp. After a minute or two, he rubbed it out and walked away.
That guard was my Good Samaritan. I will never forget that man and I will never forget that moment. And I will never forget that, no matter where you are, no matter how difficult the circumstances, there will always be someone who will pick you up and carry you.
May you and your family have a blessed Christmas and Happy Holidays,
John McCain
Disco informs me that this will be a big spring for good new albums with Kings of Leon, Wolfmother, and of course The Strokes all coming out with new albums.
As a POW, my captors would tie my arms behind my back and then loop the rope around my neck and ankles so that my head was pulled down between my knees. I was often left like that throughout the night.
One night a guard came into my cell. He put his finger to his lips signaling for me to be quiet, and then loosened my ropes to relieve my pain. The next morning, when his shift ended, the guard returned and retightened the ropes, never saying a word to me.
A month or so later, on Christmas Day, I was standing in the dirt courtyard when I saw that same guard approach me. He walked up and stood silently next to me, not looking or smiling at me.
After a few moments had passed, he rather nonchalantly used his sandaled foot to draw a cross in the dirt. We stood wordlessly looking at the cross, remembering the true light of Christmas, even in the darkness of a Vietnamese prison camp. After a minute or two, he rubbed it out and walked away.
That guard was my Good Samaritan. I will never forget that man and I will never forget that moment. And I will never forget that, no matter where you are, no matter how difficult the circumstances, there will always be someone who will pick you up and carry you.
May you and your family have a blessed Christmas and Happy Holidays,
John McCain
Disco informs me that this will be a big spring for good new albums with Kings of Leon, Wolfmother, and of course The Strokes all coming out with new albums.
It's been 3 days now and The Gooch still hasn't sneezed. Please keep him in your thoughts and prays and hopefully he'll sneeze before he goes to Disney.
While I was on hiatus the Celtics kept rolling, bouncing back after there first home loss by destroying Chicago on Friday and avenging one of there 3 loses by beating Orlando on Sunday. They hit the West Coast starting tonight in Sacramento
While I was on hiatus the Celtics kept rolling, bouncing back after there first home loss by destroying Chicago on Friday and avenging one of there 3 loses by beating Orlando on Sunday. They hit the West Coast starting tonight in Sacramento
Birthdays since I've been gone:
Dec 21st-Super Twat Jane Fonda, actor Samuel L. Jackson. I was going to list all the movies Jackson's been in but there;s just no time for that, I could read War & Peace quicker than it would take to list all of his movies. Also actor Keefer Sutherland(who's favorite word is nigger) turned 41, Gravitas Keefer!
Also on Dec 21st, 1610 the pilgrims fist landed on Plymouth Rock. The Pilgrims had planned on moving further south into the Cape but the traffic was too bad at the Sagamore Bridge so they stayed in Plymouth.
Dec 22nd-Baseball greats Connie Mack and Steve Carlton also the best named First Lady of all time, Lady Bird Johnson. I wanted to name my daughter Lady Bird but my wife wasn't a fan, oh well maybe next time.
Dec 23rd-Eddie Vedor, baseball stars Brad Lidge, Victor Martinez & hot chicks Estella Warren and Summer Altice.
No birthdays to mention on the 24th. For Christmas we have hot chick Helena Christianson and Jesus Christ. There's been a lot written and said about Christ but I think the most important thing he's ever done was turning water into wine at the wedding at Cana. What a disappointment that wedding would of been if they ran out of wine, but JC kept the party going deep into the night even after Mary Magdalan pulled Jill Heinz's hair.
Dec 26-Baseball Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith.
Keep the Madlibs coming! I'll see you tomorrow.
"I'm Tallent, and I approve of this message"
Keep the Madlibs coming! I'll see you tomorrow.
"I'm Tallent, and I approve of this message"
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