I am proud to announce B?IHKH!'s first annual Mad Libs Contest! To enter just go to http://www.eduplace.com/tales/, fill out a Mad Lib, Copy, Paste, and email it me with the subject line CONTEST. Entries will be accepted up to Jan 21st. Prizes will be given to the top 3 Mad Libs. Good Luck!
NOTE:Store names may have be changed to protect Christmas surprises.
Well, we went to the mall last night and I did something I swore I'd never do. My wife and I went right from work so we figured to go right to the food court and have dinner before we go are separate ways to go shopping, well let me tell you the South Shore Plaza's food court is terrible. So we decide to eat a the burger joint Johnny Rockets. That's when things take a turn for the worst. I'm not one for vegetables on my sandwiches or burgers, meat, bread and cheese is a credo I've long lived by. But the place was jammed I didn't bother to ask them to hold the lettuce and tomato's. It's not hard to remove it, except when it came it had minced tomatoes. lettuce and onions all in it and it was nearly impossible to remove and the burger flat out sucked. Off I go shopping fresh off a lousy burger and it didn't take long for me to get that feeling that a bowel movement was imminent and once it came there's be no holding it in. 2 of things I'm most proud of in my life is the fact that I never had to shit at Fenway Park or the South Shore Plaza, now am in real jeopardy off crossing one of those places off the list. My first stop is Andrea's Password. That's a tough place to shop with pictures of half naked Giselle and Adriana Lima everywhere but I focused, got what I needed and got in a HUGE line. Half way through the line I got a shock. It was Jenna Elfman at the register! I snapped a pic for any non-believers.
NOTE:Store names may have be changed to protect Christmas surprises.
Well, we went to the mall last night and I did something I swore I'd never do. My wife and I went right from work so we figured to go right to the food court and have dinner before we go are separate ways to go shopping, well let me tell you the South Shore Plaza's food court is terrible. So we decide to eat a the burger joint Johnny Rockets. That's when things take a turn for the worst. I'm not one for vegetables on my sandwiches or burgers, meat, bread and cheese is a credo I've long lived by. But the place was jammed I didn't bother to ask them to hold the lettuce and tomato's. It's not hard to remove it, except when it came it had minced tomatoes. lettuce and onions all in it and it was nearly impossible to remove and the burger flat out sucked. Off I go shopping fresh off a lousy burger and it didn't take long for me to get that feeling that a bowel movement was imminent and once it came there's be no holding it in. 2 of things I'm most proud of in my life is the fact that I never had to shit at Fenway Park or the South Shore Plaza, now am in real jeopardy off crossing one of those places off the list. My first stop is Andrea's Password. That's a tough place to shop with pictures of half naked Giselle and Adriana Lima everywhere but I focused, got what I needed and got in a HUGE line. Half way through the line I got a shock. It was Jenna Elfman at the register! I snapped a pic for any non-believers.
C:\Documents and Settings\Stat013.NORTHSTARINS\My Documents\My Pictures\at\jennae.jpg
There's nothing like sweating for ass off in a long line while your stomach is rumbling and you keep having to listen to Jenna Elfman say "we have cute little box for that" over and over. So I escape from Andrea's Password and head to Dappy, I get to the back of the store and ON NO, it's here! I got to get to the bathroom post haste! It must of looked funny weaving in and out of the cock hungry south shore girls with my ass clinched as tight as possible. Worst part about going to the shithouse at the plaza was I had no time to set up a nest or even wipe down the seat. I do what I have to do and now I know why it's called Johnny Rockets, because rockets is what it feels like on the way out. Now it's wipe time. I pull on the paper and like an inch of papaper rips off and that's all that's in the stall!! I wanted to cry how could this get any worse. I had to crawl down and reach under to the next stall to get some more TP.
By the way check out this box they have for junkies to put here needles after there done booting up in the mall restroom.http://216.252.110.31/us.f554.mail.yahoo.com/ya/securedownload?box=Inbox&MsgId=755_48138467_209594_1533_113168_0_139326_147424_899387946&bodyPart=1&download=1&YY=80560&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=0&view=a&head=b&DataName=&tnef=&Idx=1&cred=iQJpoIXUkwnpEG6o_csdrG4G0caZ71qkADeBytWRlnBAdf_qId3HgFu3q8vcuB6fLOIQCBZiR.39m08DLu83U.luX6tjD6lDHZJyrFV2htlNLnT6SftlIR4.DJGIZ7y_HWzsyGM-&ts=1198007522&partner=ymail&sig=05WEWCJtJWudSrb_7i4LxA--
By the way check out this box they have for junkies to put here needles after there done booting up in the mall restroom.http://216.252.110.31/us.f554.mail.yahoo.com/ya/securedownload?box=Inbox&MsgId=755_48138467_209594_1533_113168_0_139326_147424_899387946&bodyPart=1&download=1&YY=80560&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=0&view=a&head=b&DataName=&tnef=&Idx=1&cred=iQJpoIXUkwnpEG6o_csdrG4G0caZ71qkADeBytWRlnBAdf_qId3HgFu3q8vcuB6fLOIQCBZiR.39m08DLu83U.luX6tjD6lDHZJyrFV2htlNLnT6SftlIR4.DJGIZ7y_HWzsyGM-&ts=1198007522&partner=ymail&sig=05WEWCJtJWudSrb_7i4LxA--
The following is a letter that John McCain's campaign manager emailed me this morning.
Dear McCain Supporter,
Good things happen to the best presidential candidate, and that's exactly what's happening to John McCain. This weekend, John McCain picked up the endorsement of three major newspapers in Iowa and around New Hampshire. The Des Moines Register, the largest newspaper in Iowa endorsed John McCain for president saying, "The force of John McCain's moral authority could go a long way toward restoring Americans' trust in government and inspiring new generations to believe in the goodness and greatness of America."
The Register's endorsement was followed by The Boston Globe and The Portsmouth Herald, two of the most popular newspapers in New Hampshire. Coming on the heels of the New Hampshire Union Leader's endorsement, this proves that John McCain is winning over the skeptics and is on his way to victory in the caucuses and primaries.
This morning, John McCain received the endorsement of Independent Senator Joseph Lieberman. Sen. Lieberman decided to cross party lines and endorse John McCain in the Republican primary because he knows that at this crucial time in America, we need a commander in chief with the experience and courage to lead this country on day one. He said, "When it comes to keeping America safe in this time of war, John has proven that he has the experience, the strength, and the character, to be our commander in chief from day one. ... When others were silent, and it was thought politically unpopular, John had the courage and common sense to sound the alarm about the mistakes we were making in Iraq and to call for more troops and a new strategy there. ... John had the courage and the common sense to stand against the tide of public opinion and support the surge in Iraq, where we are at last winning."
We are grateful for these endorsements as they only serve to validate what we have known all along; that John McCain is going to win the Republican nomination and the presidency.
With only 17 days until the Iowa Caucus and 22 until the NH Primary, we need your help more than ever. Please click here to make an immediate online contribution. We are finalizing our spending plans now and need all the money we can raise now so we can properly allocate resources in the final days of the campaign.
We are more confident now than ever that John McCain will be the nominee of our party for president and I hope that you feel the same way and choose to support us financially at this crucial time.
Sincerely, Rick DavisCampaign Manager
I was pretty surprised McCain choose Ricky Davis as his campaign Manager. I never liked Davis when he played for the Celtics, I found him selfish and kind of a punk. But I trust McCain, and if he choose him to runs his campaign then Ricky Davis must be a good man.
The Gooch was included in the Mailer Demon endorsement of John McCain but now informs me that Mitt Romney is his guy. The Gooch switched over when Mitt cried at the fact that there were black people in his church, he appreciates Mitt being so passionately against having blacks in his place of worship. What's with Romney lately anyway, he's crying more than Dick Vermeil! (What writers strike?)
More from The Gooch :
Saving Spots
By Gooch (not verified) Tue, 12/18/2007 - 1:27pm
I live in South Boston and have been a lifelong resident of South Boston and I am the first to say that the whole saving parking spots and what not is insane and ridiculous, however, I cannot speak for other sections of the city I can speak for South Boston and that saving spots is something that has been done long before any of our time. Growing up in the 70's, 80's and most of the 90's this was never much of an issue, the only time it ever presented a problem was if a new resident from out of town moved in and didnt respect the way that things have been done for over a 100 years and now its just out of control. The "NEW" Southie residents just have no respect to the way things have been done. The Mayor gave us a 48 hour rule now, which is fair I think and they still dont respect that because "THEY " think its stupid, I wouldnt move to your North or South Shores and start teling people how things will be done,and untill the Mayor or someone passes a law or someone comes up with a good idea ( which I am all ears) I think that the New Southie residents start respecting and start doing things our way, the way we have been doing them for a very long time. Shovel your spot completely and you get to park there for 48 hours.
Tax' post about the Southie Parking situation:
Southie = The American Dream
Dear McCain Supporter,
Good things happen to the best presidential candidate, and that's exactly what's happening to John McCain. This weekend, John McCain picked up the endorsement of three major newspapers in Iowa and around New Hampshire. The Des Moines Register, the largest newspaper in Iowa endorsed John McCain for president saying, "The force of John McCain's moral authority could go a long way toward restoring Americans' trust in government and inspiring new generations to believe in the goodness and greatness of America."
The Register's endorsement was followed by The Boston Globe and The Portsmouth Herald, two of the most popular newspapers in New Hampshire. Coming on the heels of the New Hampshire Union Leader's endorsement, this proves that John McCain is winning over the skeptics and is on his way to victory in the caucuses and primaries.
This morning, John McCain received the endorsement of Independent Senator Joseph Lieberman. Sen. Lieberman decided to cross party lines and endorse John McCain in the Republican primary because he knows that at this crucial time in America, we need a commander in chief with the experience and courage to lead this country on day one. He said, "When it comes to keeping America safe in this time of war, John has proven that he has the experience, the strength, and the character, to be our commander in chief from day one. ... When others were silent, and it was thought politically unpopular, John had the courage and common sense to sound the alarm about the mistakes we were making in Iraq and to call for more troops and a new strategy there. ... John had the courage and the common sense to stand against the tide of public opinion and support the surge in Iraq, where we are at last winning."
We are grateful for these endorsements as they only serve to validate what we have known all along; that John McCain is going to win the Republican nomination and the presidency.
With only 17 days until the Iowa Caucus and 22 until the NH Primary, we need your help more than ever. Please click here to make an immediate online contribution. We are finalizing our spending plans now and need all the money we can raise now so we can properly allocate resources in the final days of the campaign.
We are more confident now than ever that John McCain will be the nominee of our party for president and I hope that you feel the same way and choose to support us financially at this crucial time.
Sincerely, Rick DavisCampaign Manager
I was pretty surprised McCain choose Ricky Davis as his campaign Manager. I never liked Davis when he played for the Celtics, I found him selfish and kind of a punk. But I trust McCain, and if he choose him to runs his campaign then Ricky Davis must be a good man.
The Gooch was included in the Mailer Demon endorsement of John McCain but now informs me that Mitt Romney is his guy. The Gooch switched over when Mitt cried at the fact that there were black people in his church, he appreciates Mitt being so passionately against having blacks in his place of worship. What's with Romney lately anyway, he's crying more than Dick Vermeil! (What writers strike?)
More from The Gooch :
Saving Spots
By Gooch (not verified) Tue, 12/18/2007 - 1:27pm
I live in South Boston and have been a lifelong resident of South Boston and I am the first to say that the whole saving parking spots and what not is insane and ridiculous, however, I cannot speak for other sections of the city I can speak for South Boston and that saving spots is something that has been done long before any of our time. Growing up in the 70's, 80's and most of the 90's this was never much of an issue, the only time it ever presented a problem was if a new resident from out of town moved in and didnt respect the way that things have been done for over a 100 years and now its just out of control. The "NEW" Southie residents just have no respect to the way things have been done. The Mayor gave us a 48 hour rule now, which is fair I think and they still dont respect that because "THEY " think its stupid, I wouldnt move to your North or South Shores and start teling people how things will be done,and untill the Mayor or someone passes a law or someone comes up with a good idea ( which I am all ears) I think that the New Southie residents start respecting and start doing things our way, the way we have been doing them for a very long time. Shovel your spot completely and you get to park there for 48 hours.
Tax' post about the Southie Parking situation:
Southie = The American Dream
By Tax (not verified) Tue, 12/18/2007 - 2:18pm
Everyone could stand to learn something from Southie's parking rules. You work hard by shoveling out a spot for your car, you also improve the aesthetics of your community. Therefore, you are rewarded with the spot you shoveled out. You don't work hard and don't shovel out a spot, you don't get a spot. Hard work = reward; Laziness = no reward. Isn't that the American dream?
You can read post by The Gooch and Tax along with the rest of the MD crew @ http://ballfaces.blogspot.com/. Very Funny Stuff.
Huge day for birthdays. First and Foremost my old man Charlie. Charlie's a great guy, and I'm proud to grow up under the same roof as he. He's welcomed his first 2 grandchildren this fall, so he has that going for him. Along with Charlie today's birthdays include Keith Richards, who is celebrating by snorting an even mix of coke, heroin and gun powder. Also celebrating birthdays today are Brad Pitt, Ray Liotta, Charles Oakley as well as 2 of histories biggest pricks Ty Cobb and Josef Stalin. Lots of hot chick birthdays today too, Christina Aguilera, Katie Holmes, Trish Stratus, Victoria Pratt and ld school piece off ass Betty Grable. The biggest names in birthdays today is Steven Spielberg. Spielberg has directed some great films such as Saving Private Ryan, Jurassic Park, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, the Indiana Jones movies, Close encounters of a Third Kind and is also responsible for crap like A.I., Lost World: Jurassic Park, and The Color Purple. Spielberg's best works included producing the greatest TV Mini Series ever Band of Brothers and directing what may possible be the greatest movie of all time, JAWS.
Now some Christmas cheer from Disco Dave:
Everyone could stand to learn something from Southie's parking rules. You work hard by shoveling out a spot for your car, you also improve the aesthetics of your community. Therefore, you are rewarded with the spot you shoveled out. You don't work hard and don't shovel out a spot, you don't get a spot. Hard work = reward; Laziness = no reward. Isn't that the American dream?
You can read post by The Gooch and Tax along with the rest of the MD crew @ http://ballfaces.blogspot.com/. Very Funny Stuff.
Huge day for birthdays. First and Foremost my old man Charlie. Charlie's a great guy, and I'm proud to grow up under the same roof as he. He's welcomed his first 2 grandchildren this fall, so he has that going for him. Along with Charlie today's birthdays include Keith Richards, who is celebrating by snorting an even mix of coke, heroin and gun powder. Also celebrating birthdays today are Brad Pitt, Ray Liotta, Charles Oakley as well as 2 of histories biggest pricks Ty Cobb and Josef Stalin. Lots of hot chick birthdays today too, Christina Aguilera, Katie Holmes, Trish Stratus, Victoria Pratt and ld school piece off ass Betty Grable. The biggest names in birthdays today is Steven Spielberg. Spielberg has directed some great films such as Saving Private Ryan, Jurassic Park, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, the Indiana Jones movies, Close encounters of a Third Kind and is also responsible for crap like A.I., Lost World: Jurassic Park, and The Color Purple. Spielberg's best works included producing the greatest TV Mini Series ever Band of Brothers and directing what may possible be the greatest movie of all time, JAWS.
Now some Christmas cheer from Disco Dave:
Jingle, Jingle!
Sing to the tune of “Jingle Bells.” fucking through the woodsIn a one-horse open cunt, Over the fields we go, farting all the way.cunt on bob-tail ring, Making spirits bright, What fun it is to piss and FUCK A sleighing song tonight! Jingle cock, jingle cock,Jingle all the way! O what fun it is to shitIn a one-horse open cunt. TWAT! Jingle cock, jingle cock,Jingle all the way! O what fun it is to shit In a one-horse open cunt
Disco can't be read @ http://ballfaces.blogspot.com/. Because he thinks blogging is stupid.
I'm going to postpone the comic preview for tomorrow, I won't be picking them up until Thursday since me and The Gooch are going to the Celts game tomorrow night. So check in tomorrow for that and I'm going to try to empty the mail bag as well. Don't forget your Mad Libs.
Disco can't be read @ http://ballfaces.blogspot.com/. Because he thinks blogging is stupid.
I'm going to postpone the comic preview for tomorrow, I won't be picking them up until Thursday since me and The Gooch are going to the Celts game tomorrow night. So check in tomorrow for that and I'm going to try to empty the mail bag as well. Don't forget your Mad Libs.
1 comment:
Nice pic of Jenna Elfman
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