Blog Lang Syne

I got to say Santa was very good to me this year, but I can't help feeling disappointed that once again I didn't receive any Muir. Every year its the same stuff, I have more Frankincense than you can shake a stick at, just once I'd like to wake up on Christmas morning and find some Muir under the tree.


Huge weekend for the Celtics, winning at Utah and at the Lakers on backs to back nights is very impressive, going 4-0 on the West Coast trip is very, very impressive. They got off to a slow start on Saturday, allowing Utah to shoot 65% from the field and Pierce was held scoreless in the half. The 2nd half was a very different story with the D clamping down and Pierce scoring 24 2nd half points, Tony Allen had some key steals and the unsung player of the trip Eddie House of M nailed yet another key 3 to start the 4th quarter to give the Celtics there first lead of the night. On Sunday the Celts had another comfortable win even without start Point Guard Rajon Rondo. Pierce stayed hot scoring 33, including 10 straight and the end of the 3rd quarter that was followed up at the beginning of the 4th with Just Ray Allen scoring 3 straight baskets and as usual House of M supplied the 3 point dagger. The D was back last night holding the Lakers to 38% and Kobe to 6-25 shooting. Filling is for the injured Rondo was the much maligned Tony Allen who played a good game getting double digit points in the first half. The Celtics play the Houston Rockets(without Tracy McGrady) at home on Wednesday.

Also in sports I guess the B's stink again, but BC football won there 27th straight shitty bowl game. BC beat Michigan State 24-21 on Friday in the E-Z Wider Smoka Bowl.

I owe Brandon Jacobs an apology, the Giants came out and played there balls off. But I warned them not too, and look what happened, Sam Madison ab strain, starting center O'Hara strained MCL, starting linebacker Kavika Mitchell same injury. Now the banged up Giants have to go to a rested Tampa and there going to lose, LOG IT!

I wonder what they did with the ball that broke both TD records, it should probably go to Brady since Rice caught 22 TD's in 12 games due to a strike.

I've heard some people belly aching about how The Cowboys and Colts should of played the starters more since they played in games with playoff implications. FUCK THAT, when you get 14, 13 wins and you get to rest your players if you want, that's what you've earned. You've earned the right to do what you want.

Well New Years is upon us and it's time for everyone to make a New Years Resolution. My Resolution for 2008 is to have a several resolutions!

1) Be less social. I've never been one for small talk. I'm amazed at the amount of people asking me "didja see that game?" Are you fucking kidding, you know I watched the game, if you want to talk about the game go ahead and talk about the game. Don't use a obvious question as a greeting, just say hi and move on.

other resolutions for 2008

2) Win more bets
3) Eat more parogies
4) Keep my no shitting at Fenway streak alive
5) Keep my nose hair trim
6) Watch more Family Guy
7) Watch less ESPN
8) Vote for John McCain more often
9) Get to Wendy's more often
10) Watch the Pats win the Super bowl
11) Watch the Celtics win the NBA Championship
12) Watch the Red Sox win the World Series
13) Save the No Bitching Baseball league
14) Carve a Statue of Bill Bellichick out of Bavarian Wormwood
15) Get rid of all the nonsense that Zeek put on my IPod
16) Sample some Turkish Black Tar Heroin
17) Learn to be MORE reliant on foreign oil
18) Expose Dr.Phil for the fraud that he is
19) Purchase a conflict diamond
20) Settle political unrest in Pakistan
21) Get contact lenses
22) Kill Carol, collect a big check, Blame it on a black man, what the heck?


Does anyone else walk around randomly saying in a deep voice "GET ME A WHOPPER.......NOW!"

Check out this Youtube clip Battle at Kruger, it has nothing to do with Kruger Industrial Smoothing but it's still worth watching.

Not even his wife can stand Sean Penn now. "A Princess Bride" star Robin Wright is divorcing Penn, Saying "He's just become to much of Twat"

I can't believe there was a time in my life that I didn't drink coffee. Wait there's another resolution: Increase my coffee intake!

Today's and birthdays over the weekend:

29th-Former La Baron owner Jon Voight and 17th President of the United States Andrew Johnson
30th-Bat eater Ozzie Osborn, British prickface Jude Law, tall drink of water Ritchie Sexton, naked skater Katarina Witt, baseball great Sandy Koufax, Matt Lauer, super traffic hooker Heidi Fleiss, drunk quarterback Kerry Collins, a golfer named Tiger, Watertown hot chick Eliza Dusku, one of the most underrated hot chicks Kristen Kreuk Image results for kristen kreuk, and Cleveland Cavaliers role player Lebron James
31st-Anthony Hopkins, check out "A Bridge Too Far" great WWII movie no side love stories or historical incorrect bullshit scenes.

Thanks for reading and Happy New Year, don't forget about the Madlibs contest.

"I'm Tallent, and I approve of this message"

Horny Toed Blog

Mail Bag time!

From Kyle of Stoneham, MA: Tallent, do you like the extra shit they do at the Celtics games, like the dancing girls and shooting t-shirts at people?

Yeah, most the stuff they do is pretty cool, The dancing girls are real hot, I especially like there white shorts. But I'll tell ya, they better be careful when the drop the t-shirt parachutes, when me and the The Gootch went to the game last week the 50 year old guy in front of us felt it was worth risking his life for a free t-shirt and almost fell over and right out of the balcony. If the Gootch didn't grab his belt and stop him, I would be blogging about the guy I seen plummet to his death for a t-shirt.

From Tam of Canton, MA: Tallent, who would win in a fist fight, Clemans or Schilling?

Well, Clemans has the girth advantage and roid rage going for him, but as we all seen in 2004 Schilling has a much higher tolerance for pain, so I think Schilling would outlast Clemans in the fight, especially if the fight was in October.

From Matt Murdock of Hells Kitchen, NY: Tallent, who's hotter, Belinda Carlisle or Suzann Hoffs from the Bangles?

Matt, great question. I personally would go with Hoffs, especially now a days. This is an age old question though and I would like my readers to chime in by voting on the poll I've set up.

From Thomas Detraine from Alameda, CA: Tallent, are you the only judge of the Madlibs contest?

Nope, besides myself there are 3 professional judges. Judge Lance Ito, Judge Inamy and Judge Reinhold.

From Dante Calabria from Chapel Hill, NC:
Tallent, next month your daughter is being christened, if you had your own religion how would the christening go?

Dante, we could just do the christening at the Cornerstone, (That's the Cornerstone, 16 West Broadway, SB, MA). Everyone would dress up as there favorite Marvel Super hero or villain and instead of holy water, we'd would use Coors lights(not too much though) and the Strokes would play during the whole ceremony. The ceremony also could be done by any Mailer Demon.

The Celtics won again last night, taken down Seattle. Even though the Sonics are lousy its was a good win for the C's, coming off a back to back on the road and playing against some very motivated ex-Celtics. Pierce was huge scoring 37, also Eddie House of M had some daggers for the Sonics. Very tough weekend for the C's when they have to play Utah and the Lakers back to back nights.

Birthdays today:

Ex-President Woodrow Wilson, 86 Mets piece of shit Ray Knight, Baseball star BJ Ryan and star of Devil in a Blue Dress Denzel Washington.

But today we pay homage to Stan "the man" Lee. Mr. Lee is the mind behind legendary comic characters such as Spider Man, The Fantastic Four, X-Men, The Hulk, Daredevil, Iron Man, & the Black Panther. Also led the Expansion of Marvel Comics from a small publication to a large media corporation. Stan Lee's Marvel revolution extended beyond the characters and storylines to the way in which comic books engaged the readership and built a sense of community between fans and creators. Lee introduced the practice of including a credit panel on the splash page of each story, naming not just the writer and penciller but also the inker and letterer. In later years, Lee became a figurehead and public face for Marvel Comics. He made appearances at comic book conventions around America, lecturing at colleges and participating in panel discussions. He moved to California in 1981 to develop Marvel's TV and movie properties. He has been an executive producer for, and has made cameo appearances in Marvel film adaptations and other movies.
Lee has received several awards for his work, including being formally inducted into the Jack Kirby Hall of Fame in 1995.
He is among the celebrities scheduled to receive a star on the in 2008.
Lee has received several awards for his work, including being formally inducted into the Jack Kirby Hall of Fame in 1995.
He is among the celebrities scheduled to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Lee has also won a record 93 Pulitzer prizes

Thanks for Reading, I'll see you next week. Also sometime next week will be my year in review.

"I'm Tallent, and i approve of this message"

All Blogs go to heaven

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Yule Blog

Merry Christmas everyone! Sorry I haven't posted in a few days but Christmas is a crazy time of year. I've written some X-mas song parodies for you to enjoy.

Let it snow
Oh the weather outside is frightful, But the heroin is so delightful,And since we've no place to go,Lets do some blow! Lets do some blow!It doesn't show signs of Pausing,And I've bought some pills for popping,The lights are turned way down low,Lets do some blow! Lets do some blow!When we finally kiss goodnight,How I'll hate going out in the storm!But if you'll really tie my veins up tight,All the way home I'll be warm.Chapin is slowly dying,And, my dear, we're still good-bying,But as long as we have ya-yoLets do some blow! Lets do some blow!

Last Christmas - Wham
Last Christmas, I gave you my heartBut the very next day, I turned very gayThis year, since I'm a queerI'll give it to someone special



New Jack Wonderland


Sirens ring, are you listening, In the courtyard, the crack is glistening

A beautiful sight,We're nappy tonight.Walking in a New Jack wonderland.

Blow him away, is the new word
Here to stay is a new turd
He smokes from a bong,As we go along,

Walking in a New Jack wonderland.

In the courtyard we can do some blow man,

Smoke the crack we bought from Neno Brown

He'll say:Pookie Are sober?

We'll say: No man, But you can have a jobWhen you're in town.

Later on, the police conspire,

As the junkies light a fire

The cops are ready to raid,

The plans Neno made,

Walking in a New Jack wonderland.

In the courtyard we can do some blow man,
and smoke the crack we bought from Neno Brown
We'll have lots of fun doing blow man,Until the other junkies shake us down.

We got some blow, ain't it thrilling,

Though your nose gets a chilling

We'll boot up and play, the crack whore way,

Walking in a New Jack wonderland.



The best gift story I've heard this Christmas is "someone"just giving his brother a plan white t-shirt for Christmas.

So they want to sell scratch tickets at dunkin dounuts now. That's such a terrible idea, it's already like pulling teeth just to get a large light w/4 equal, now you'll have some asshole in front of you saying "ah can I get a ham, egg and cheese on a bagel, a large French hazelnut vanilla half decafe , a number 7, 2 number 10's and what's that new one is that a $5 ticket......"

If you don't know the name Jose A. Rodriguez Jr. right now you will. He's the guy that's going to take the fall for destroying the tapes of the CIA using Waterboarding as a form of interrogation. The question is why he had to destroy the tapes at all. Shouldn't the CIA be able to use any means necessary to keep the people of this country safe. At the time of this "waterboarding" the country was still reeling from the 9/11 attacks, the Post Office had an anthrax problem, and Muslim asshole John Allen Muhammad was sniping people people at gas stations. Who can blame the CIA for integrating 2 High Level Al Qaeda members with any means at there disposal. Now Ted Kennedy stands on his soap box and wants to throw the people involved in jail, c'mon Ted, it's not like they were driving around shitfaced and downed some poor girl, now that would be a real crime. The fact is there hasn't been a terrorist attack on US soil since these pricks were waterboarded so instead of persecuting Rodriguez we should be shaking is hand and buying him a lap dance.

I highly recommend the Baconator from Wendy's. Meat, Bread & Cheese at it's finest.

The following is an drunk email from Fouraces to Roger Clemans wife:

How does it make you feel that your husband has lied and cheated everyone he has ever come in contact with or anyone that has admired him. He is a cheat and a liar and should beashamed of how he treated Red Sox fans(being a greedy hick) and baseball fans(being a selfish prick) He should admit what he has done and hope for forgiveness, he is a horrible man. I think your husband is the antichrist, I could be wrong but the facts point to him him being the unholiest creature that has ever walked the face of the earth. How does it make you feel that you have given birth to the spawnof Beazlebub and that everyone wishes he was dead or non-existent. I would like to donate to a charity but pleasee-mail me at fouraces4@thebrothers.com and let me know which charity I can donate to that you and your husband cannot have any access to the money as I do not trust you as far asI can throw your husband(which isn't far cause he is fat). Thanks for the time and I doubt you will answer this as you are probably a coward, no talent ass clown like your husband. Thanks and Merry Christmas

Sen. McCain emailed me this week and told me this touching X-mas story that I'll share with you

As a POW, my captors would tie my arms behind my back and then loop the rope around my neck and ankles so that my head was pulled down between my knees. I was often left like that throughout the night.
One night a guard came into my cell. He put his finger to his lips signaling for me to be quiet, and then loosened my ropes to relieve my pain. The next morning, when his shift ended, the guard returned and retightened the ropes, never saying a word to me.
A month or so later, on Christmas Day, I was standing in the dirt courtyard when I saw that same guard approach me. He walked up and stood silently next to me, not looking or smiling at me.
After a few moments had passed, he rather nonchalantly used his sandaled foot to draw a cross in the dirt. We stood wordlessly looking at the cross, remembering the true light of Christmas, even in the darkness of a Vietnamese prison camp. After a minute or two, he rubbed it out and walked away.
That guard was my Good Samaritan. I will never forget that man and I will never forget that moment. And I will never forget that, no matter where you are, no matter how difficult the circumstances, there will always be someone who will pick you up and carry you.
May you and your family have a blessed Christmas and Happy Holidays,
John McCain

Disco informs me that this will be a big spring for good new albums with Kings of Leon, Wolfmother, and of course The Strokes all coming out with new albums.

It's been 3 days now and The Gooch still hasn't sneezed. Please keep him in your thoughts and prays and hopefully he'll sneeze before he goes to Disney.

While I was on hiatus the Celtics kept rolling, bouncing back after there first home loss by destroying Chicago on Friday and avenging one of there 3 loses by beating Orlando on Sunday. They hit the West Coast starting tonight in Sacramento

Birthdays since I've been gone:

Dec 21st-Super Twat Jane Fonda, actor Samuel L. Jackson. I was going to list all the movies Jackson's been in but there;s just no time for that, I could read War & Peace quicker than it would take to list all of his movies. Also actor Keefer Sutherland(who's favorite word is nigger) turned 41, Gravitas Keefer!

Also on Dec 21st, 1610 the pilgrims fist landed on Plymouth Rock. The Pilgrims had planned on moving further south into the Cape but the traffic was too bad at the Sagamore Bridge so they stayed in Plymouth.

Dec 22nd-Baseball greats Connie Mack and Steve Carlton also the best named First Lady of all time, Lady Bird Johnson. I wanted to name my daughter Lady Bird but my wife wasn't a fan, oh well maybe next time.

Dec 23rd-Eddie Vedor, baseball stars Brad Lidge, Victor Martinez & hot chicks Estella Warren and Summer Altice.

No birthdays to mention on the 24th. For Christmas we have hot chick Helena Christianson and Jesus Christ. There's been a lot written and said about Christ but I think the most important thing he's ever done was turning water into wine at the wedding at Cana. What a disappointment that wedding would of been if they ran out of wine, but JC kept the party going deep into the night even after Mary Magdalan pulled Jill Heinz's hair.

Dec 26-Baseball Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith.

Keep the Madlibs coming! I'll see you tomorrow.

"I'm Tallent, and I approve of this message"

It's a blog eat blog world

Curt Schilling, please SHUT THE FUCK UP, for once. Never in my life have I had such respect for what a player does in between the lines and had such distain for what he does off the field. Ok, we get it, you didn't use performance enhancers, you don't have to write a 3,000 word blog about it. Leave that to me. Why does Schilling think we need to hear his 2 cents on every issue, he's not Oprah. He's not even Bono.

Why is everybody making a big deal about Jamie Lynn Spears being to young to have a kid. She was on Soprano's for like 10 years she must be at least 21.

All day at my job I send faxes and emails to our clients and there customers. Today I'm signing everyone of them "Merry Christmas" hoping some asshole gets offended.

Now for an important music update from my music correspondent Jimmy Scorner.

Jack White has revealed he he is working on three albums.

The White Stripes and The Raconteurs man explained his current projects while discussing the fallout caused by his first band scrapping their the rest of their 2007 tour dates because drummer Meg White was suffering from acute anxiety.“Half of me was glad because I have three other records I’m working on, and I didn’t have any time to work on them," he told the Seattle Times. "I was really getting worried that I might have to not do these things I wanted to do because of the touring.”White would not name what the other projects he was working on, but denied it was The Raconteurs' new album or the long-rumored solo album.White added that the cancelled dates did not mark the end of The White Stripes though, declaring: “If it came to a point where Meg said 'I don’t want to be in this band anymore, it doesn’t fulfill me in any way,’ then it would be a different story. But she’s not saying that.” White speculated on how long the band’s live break was going to be. “I guess it’s up to her…she seems to be lively," he said. "She was really invigorating working together on this ’Conquest’ record (new single). I was wondering if she was interested and she was completely - very, very involved.”White also spoke about the band’s collaboration with Beck.“We had some songs that were kind of lingering around," he explained. "Meg and I had never really played them, we just kind of learned them in Beck’s living room. His studio wasn’t ready to go, so he just set it up in his living room. He’s inspiring to us because of the way he looks at folk music. It’s different from the way we look at folk music.”

More Christmas Cheer from Disco:

I'll be cunty for Christmas,You can piss on me.Please have cum and mistletoe,And cocks by the tree.Christmas Eve will fuck me,Where the cunt-light gleams,I'll be cunty for ChristmasIf only in my dreams


What a suck way to lose a game last night for the Celtics. I had that all too familiar pissed off after game feeling I've received from the Red Sox so many times. I shouldn't be this pissed, there 20-3, just lost there first home game and of there 3 loses one came in OT, one was by 2 points and last nights with .01 seconds left, I think I just hate Detroit.A lot has been made of the last play when Tony Allen fouled Chauncey Billups, but I don't think it had to come to that. They sucked at the free throw line, They couldn't get Detroit off the offensive boards and took to many quick jumpers in the 3rd quarter. Some people including Tax , didn't think it was right for Tony Allen to come off the bench ice cold and cover Billups at the end of the game. I personally thought Tony should of played more in the 2nd half when Billups was torching them. The good news is that Rick Pitino tells me the Chauncey Billups is apart of the Celtics backcourt of the future. To tell the truth though I'm glad I'm so pissed off about a basketball game. Countless baseball games and several football games have left me with a hair across my ass but I haven't been this pissed about a hoop game in a long time especially a regular season game. This is all because basketball is back in Beantown, the Fleetcenter was absolutely bonkos last night and hopefully this is the start of a rivalry renewed with the Hell on Earth Pistons. The silver bullet linings of the game were Rajon Rondo, he's playing pissa and getting better every week and Just Ray Allen's return to the line up. Just Ray was butter last night and that reverse jam in the 4th quarter got the crowd fired up and the Celts back in the game.

Staying with sports, if your going to watch a regular season Bruins game this season make tonight the night. The Bruins play Sidney Crosby and the Pittsburg Penguins. Crosby the NHL's best player would and should be a much bigger deal in this country if hockey wasn't as dead as dead.


Jacksonville Jaguars and Tampa Bay Bucs are a combined 19-9 and have no Pro Bowlers.

A Bobcat plow has been plowing( ha ha plowing) the parking lot behind my office all day. Every time someone says "bobcat" I think of the SNL skit with Christopher Walken when he says "My wife is a Bobcat" If you haven't seen it, here is the youtube link Christopher Walken - Census.

Birthdays today: Mr.The Gooch , Baseball star David Wright & hot chicks Lucy Lui, Nelly Furtado and Lucy Pinder seen here

http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=A0geu.5JnmpHOPgAGBVXNyoA?ei=UTF-8&p=lucy%20pinder&fr2=tab-web&fr=yfp-t-330-s

Also Ex-hot chick and current madwoman Britney Spears. Today is also Ex-NFL Quarterback Rich Gannon's birthday. I think you'd be hard pressed to find too many better 4 year runs than Gannon's with the Raiders.

On top of those stats Gannon broke the following records and appeared in Superbowl XXXVII against Tampa Bay. Gannon threw 3 touchdowns in that game unfortunately they were all to the wrong team.


NFL season record for pass completions (418 in 2002)
NFL season record for 300+ yard passing games (10 in 2002)
NFL season record for consecutive 300+ yard passing games (6 in 2002), tied with Steve Young (1998) and Kurt Warner (2000)
NFL game record for highest completion percentage (89%)
NFL game record for most consecutive completions

Thanks for all the mad lib entries, I having a blast reading them, keep them coming. A couple orther great sites to do Mad Libs are http://www.madlibs.org/ & http://www.madglibs.com/

A sample Madlib:

If you Quickly want to fuck about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was fingered, and what my gay childhood was like, and how my wiggers were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Dennis Hemphill kind of weed, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to finger blast the cock. In the first place, that stuff cums me, and in the second place, my wiggers would have about 24 clits apiece if I told anything pretty horny about them. They're quite fag about anything like that, especially my ball sack.


I'll have at least more more post before Christmas. Thanks for reading

"I'm Tallent and I approve of this message"

Happy Birthday Alyssa!

I'm going to jump right into birthdays today because today is the 35th birthday of a close friend of mine, actress Alyssa Milano. Alyssa and I dated for a year or so while I was in high school until I I broke up with her to date who is now my wife. Even after we broke up, Alyssa and I stayed close friends. The picture above is me and Alyssa at a sox game over the summer. I'll get back to today's birthdays latter but first I've been wanting to answer some emails that I've received from a few fans.


From Mary McNiff of Cherry Hill, N.J.: "Tallent, you mentioned that the movie Lake Placid is a movie classic. How do you figure?

Mary,
I don't have to mention that it's a movie classic, it airs on AMERICAN MOVIE CLASSICS all the time, so there's the proof that it's a classic.

From Joe Ghioni of King of Prussia, PA
"Tallent, who would win in a fight, Iron Man or Superman?.''

Joe,
Great question. It depends on which universe they were to fight in. There's no such thing as Kryptonite in the Marvel Universe and I don't know of any way Iron Man could block the sun that powers Superman so unless Iron Man has a way to block that out I see Sup winning a long though fight. But the DC universe would be a different story. Kryptonite is available and you could bet your ass Tony Stark would have some, he's is nothing if not prepared, Iron Man wins that one no contest.

From Larry McNabb of Seattle, WA
"Tallent, are there any positives about using public bathrooms?

Larry,
The one good thing about using public bathrooms is that you can use as much toilet paper as you want. You can use the whole roll and not have to worry about clogging the toilet and even if you do who cares, its not your bathroom.

From Peggy Davis Malone of Boston, MA
"Tallent, you mentioned that the celebrities have donated to Marty Hogan's City Council campaign, do you know which ones, and how much they gave.

Peggy,
Yeah, I few I know about are Lucy Lui who gave Marty $17, Stephen Baldwin donated $24, Eric Gange $9 and Judd Nelson gave him a $2 scratch ticket.


I couple people were asking me how they enter the Mad Libs contest. It's easy, simply go to http://www.eduplace.com/tales/. Fill out the Mad Lib, then cut & paste it to an email and send the email to Sharktooth4593@yahoo.com with the subject CONTEST. Entries will be taken until Jan 21st, 08

For birthdays today, we have white basketball stars, Tom Gugliotta and Arvydas Sabonis, remember he's not your vydas, he's not my vydars, he's Arvydas. Also Football stars, Reggie White, Warren Sapp and Jake Plummer. Hot chick Rosa Blassi's birthday is today along with Jake Gyllenhall whom we all hope is celebrating his very last birthday on this Earth.

Be sure to check in tomorrow, I'll be blogging about me and The Gooch's trip to the C's and what ever else tickles my fancy.

Mall Madness and The First Annual Mad Libs Contest!

I am proud to announce B?IHKH!'s first annual Mad Libs Contest! To enter just go to http://www.eduplace.com/tales/, fill out a Mad Lib, Copy, Paste, and email it me with the subject line CONTEST. Entries will be accepted up to Jan 21st. Prizes will be given to the top 3 Mad Libs. Good Luck!

NOTE:Store names may have be changed to protect Christmas surprises.
Well, we went to the mall last night and I did something I swore I'd never do. My wife and I went right from work so we figured to go right to the food court and have dinner before we go are separate ways to go shopping, well let me tell you the South Shore Plaza's food court is terrible. So we decide to eat a the burger joint Johnny Rockets. That's when things take a turn for the worst. I'm not one for vegetables on my sandwiches or burgers, meat, bread and cheese is a credo I've long lived by. But the place was jammed I didn't bother to ask them to hold the lettuce and tomato's. It's not hard to remove it, except when it came it had minced tomatoes. lettuce and onions all in it and it was nearly impossible to remove and the burger flat out sucked. Off I go shopping fresh off a lousy burger and it didn't take long for me to get that feeling that a bowel movement was imminent and once it came there's be no holding it in. 2 of things I'm most proud of in my life is the fact that I never had to shit at Fenway Park or the South Shore Plaza, now am in real jeopardy off crossing one of those places off the list. My first stop is Andrea's Password. That's a tough place to shop with pictures of half naked Giselle and Adriana Lima everywhere but I focused, got what I needed and got in a HUGE line. Half way through the line I got a shock. It was Jenna Elfman at the register! I snapped a pic for any non-believers.

C:\Documents and Settings\Stat013.NORTHSTARINS\My Documents\My Pictures\at\jennae.jpg

There's nothing like sweating for ass off in a long line while your stomach is rumbling and you keep having to listen to Jenna Elfman say "we have cute little box for that" over and over. So I escape from Andrea's Password and head to Dappy, I get to the back of the store and ON NO, it's here! I got to get to the bathroom post haste! It must of looked funny weaving in and out of the cock hungry south shore girls with my ass clinched as tight as possible. Worst part about going to the shithouse at the plaza was I had no time to set up a nest or even wipe down the seat. I do what I have to do and now I know why it's called Johnny Rockets, because rockets is what it feels like on the way out. Now it's wipe time. I pull on the paper and like an inch of papaper rips off and that's all that's in the stall!! I wanted to cry how could this get any worse. I had to crawl down and reach under to the next stall to get some more TP.
By the way check out this box they have for junkies to put here needles after there done booting up in the mall restroom.http://216.252.110.31/us.f554.mail.yahoo.com/ya/securedownload?box=Inbox&MsgId=755_48138467_209594_1533_113168_0_139326_147424_899387946&bodyPart=1&download=1&YY=80560&y5beta=yes&y5beta=yes&order=down&sort=date&pos=0&view=a&head=b&DataName=&tnef=&Idx=1&cred=iQJpoIXUkwnpEG6o_csdrG4G0caZ71qkADeBytWRlnBAdf_qId3HgFu3q8vcuB6fLOIQCBZiR.39m08DLu83U.luX6tjD6lDHZJyrFV2htlNLnT6SftlIR4.DJGIZ7y_HWzsyGM-&ts=1198007522&partner=ymail&sig=05WEWCJtJWudSrb_7i4LxA--

The following is a letter that John McCain's campaign manager emailed me this morning.

Dear McCain Supporter,
Good things happen to the best presidential candidate, and that's exactly what's happening to John McCain. This weekend, John McCain picked up the endorsement of three major newspapers in Iowa and around New Hampshire. The Des Moines Register, the largest newspaper in Iowa endorsed John McCain for president saying, "The force of John McCain's moral authority could go a long way toward restoring Americans' trust in government and inspiring new generations to believe in the goodness and greatness of America."
The Register's endorsement was followed by The Boston Globe and The Portsmouth Herald, two of the most popular newspapers in New Hampshire. Coming on the heels of the New Hampshire Union Leader's endorsement, this proves that John McCain is winning over the skeptics and is on his way to victory in the caucuses and primaries.
This morning, John McCain received the endorsement of Independent Senator Joseph Lieberman. Sen. Lieberman decided to cross party lines and endorse John McCain in the Republican primary because he knows that at this crucial time in America, we need a commander in chief with the experience and courage to lead this country on day one. He said, "When it comes to keeping America safe in this time of war, John has proven that he has the experience, the strength, and the character, to be our commander in chief from day one. ... When others were silent, and it was thought politically unpopular, John had the courage and common sense to sound the alarm about the mistakes we were making in Iraq and to call for more troops and a new strategy there. ... John had the courage and the common sense to stand against the tide of public opinion and support the surge in Iraq, where we are at last winning."
We are grateful for these endorsements as they only serve to validate what we have known all along; that John McCain is going to win the Republican nomination and the presidency.
With only 17 days until the Iowa Caucus and 22 until the NH Primary, we need your help more than ever. Please click here to make an immediate online contribution. We are finalizing our spending plans now and need all the money we can raise now so we can properly allocate resources in the final days of the campaign.
We are more confident now than ever that John McCain will be the nominee of our party for president and I hope that you feel the same way and choose to support us financially at this crucial time.
Sincerely, Rick DavisCampaign Manager

I was pretty surprised McCain choose Ricky Davis as his campaign Manager. I never liked Davis when he played for the Celtics, I found him selfish and kind of a punk. But I trust McCain, and if he choose him to runs his campaign then Ricky Davis must be a good man.

The Gooch was included in the Mailer Demon endorsement of John McCain but now informs me that Mitt Romney is his guy. The Gooch switched over when Mitt cried at the fact that there were black people in his church, he appreciates Mitt being so passionately against having blacks in his place of worship. What's with Romney lately anyway, he's crying more than Dick Vermeil! (What writers strike?)

More from The Gooch :
Saving Spots
By Gooch (not verified) Tue, 12/18/2007 - 1:27pm
I live in South Boston and have been a lifelong resident of South Boston and I am the first to say that the whole saving parking spots and what not is insane and ridiculous, however, I cannot speak for other sections of the city I can speak for South Boston and that saving spots is something that has been done long before any of our time. Growing up in the 70's, 80's and most of the 90's this was never much of an issue, the only time it ever presented a problem was if a new resident from out of town moved in and didnt respect the way that things have been done for over a 100 years and now its just out of control. The "NEW" Southie residents just have no respect to the way things have been done. The Mayor gave us a 48 hour rule now, which is fair I think and they still dont respect that because "THEY " think its stupid, I wouldnt move to your North or South Shores and start teling people how things will be done,and untill the Mayor or someone passes a law or someone comes up with a good idea ( which I am all ears) I think that the New Southie residents start respecting and start doing things our way, the way we have been doing them for a very long time. Shovel your spot completely and you get to park there for 48 hours.

Tax' post about the Southie Parking situation:
Southie = The American Dream

By Tax (not verified) Tue, 12/18/2007 - 2:18pm
Everyone could stand to learn something from Southie's parking rules. You work hard by shoveling out a spot for your car, you also improve the aesthetics of your community. Therefore, you are rewarded with the spot you shoveled out. You don't work hard and don't shovel out a spot, you don't get a spot. Hard work = reward; Laziness = no reward. Isn't that the American dream?

You can read post by The Gooch and Tax along with the rest of the MD crew @ http://ballfaces.blogspot.com/. Very Funny Stuff.

Huge day for birthdays. First and Foremost my old man Charlie. Charlie's a great guy, and I'm proud to grow up under the same roof as he. He's welcomed his first 2 grandchildren this fall, so he has that going for him. Along with Charlie today's birthdays include Keith Richards, who is celebrating by snorting an even mix of coke, heroin and gun powder. Also celebrating birthdays today are Brad Pitt, Ray Liotta, Charles Oakley as well as 2 of histories biggest pricks Ty Cobb and Josef Stalin. Lots of hot chick birthdays today too, Christina Aguilera, Katie Holmes, Trish Stratus, Victoria Pratt and ld school piece off ass Betty Grable. The biggest names in birthdays today is Steven Spielberg. Spielberg has directed some great films such as Saving Private Ryan, Jurassic Park, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, the Indiana Jones movies, Close encounters of a Third Kind and is also responsible for crap like A.I., Lost World: Jurassic Park, and The Color Purple. Spielberg's best works included producing the greatest TV Mini Series ever Band of Brothers and directing what may possible be the greatest movie of all time, JAWS.

Now some Christmas cheer from Disco Dave:

Jingle, Jingle!

Sing to the tune of “Jingle Bells.” fucking through the woodsIn a one-horse open cunt, Over the fields we go, farting all the way.cunt on bob-tail ring, Making spirits bright, What fun it is to piss and FUCK A sleighing song tonight! Jingle cock, jingle cock,Jingle all the way! O what fun it is to shitIn a one-horse open cunt. TWAT! Jingle cock, jingle cock,Jingle all the way! O what fun it is to shit In a one-horse open cunt

Disco can't be read @ http://ballfaces.blogspot.com/. Because he thinks blogging is stupid.


I'm going to postpone the comic preview for tomorrow, I won't be picking them up until Thursday since me and The Gooch are going to the Celts game tomorrow night. So check in tomorrow for that and I'm going to try to empty the mail bag as well. Don't forget your Mad Libs.

Election Coverage

So Oprah endorses Obama for President and its the biggest frigin story in America. She's a talk show host who gives a fuck who she endorses! Is America waiting impatiently for Mike Adams to announce who he's endorsing. If she's so wise, if she's so full of wisdom, why isn't she running for President?

What about that cockroach Barbara Streisand, Tax informs me Streisand gave money to Clinton, Edwards, Obama and Dodd. Tax said it best when he says "She's really covering her bases there. What a cunt. Pick one of them for Christ's sake."

Fing Fang Foom had a great point when he said "Why didn't she just buy a bunch of sandwiches for hungry kids?". He's exactly right what poor prick wouldn't want a Steak Bomb for Christmas. These uppity celebrities are the first to bitch and moan when they feel that the government isn't giving enough money to what every there trendy cause of the month is. But then they throw money at every asshole that's running for office, including Mary Hogan.

Tax and Fing Fang Foom(Celine Dion ) can be read along with the rest of the MD crew @ http://ballfaces.blogspot.com/. Very Funny Stuff


The Celtics had a great weekend, 2 more blowouts. I was very excited to see the way Tony Allen played starting in place of "Just" Ray Allen. Tony coming off a bad knee injury shut down Michael Redd one of the leagues best scorers. Allen played 33 minutes on Friday night against Milwaukee and logged over 40 minutes in the win over Toronto yesterday. The victory on Friday was vintage C's taking control in the 3rd quarter for the easy win, but Sunday the Celts controlled the game from the get go, playing what is becoming there signature defense. Also stepping up in the absence of "Just" Ray Allen has been Rajon Rondo. The Celtics should have Just Ray back on Wednesday night when they take on the Detroit Pistons in which should be a great game between the 2 Eastern Conference favorites.

Over the weekend Mo Vaughn turned 40, rumor has it he got an asterisk for his birthday. Today's birthdays include Phillies 2B Chase Utley and actor Bill Pullman. Pullman has long been an underrated great in the movie industry, Pullman's stared in such American movie classics as Lake Placid, Independence Day, and of course received an Oscar nomination for his Tour-De-Force performance as LoanStar in the film classic Spaceballs.

Once again Picture credit goes to Jimmy Scorner. Jimmy can be read along with the rest of the MD crew @ http://ballfaces.blogspot.com/. Very Funny Stuff.

Also check out Ballfaces biggest fan @Levitz Furniture

Be sure to check in tomorrow, I'm going the mall tonight so I should have some stories of madness and also I'll be previewing this weeks comics.

Thank Belichick It's Friday

What was with yesterday, it's not the worst storm we've ever had. Why was it the worst traffic we ever had? I was all set to piss and moan about my commute yesterday, but I guess 2 hours and 15 minutes from Newton to Southie isn't that bad compared to what a lot of other people had to deal with. So I'll jump right into the Mitchell Report.

Not all that impressed by this Mitchell Report. Not one name on the report surprised me. I guess I was surprised to see Mo Vaughn and Wally Joyner on the list but that's just because I haven't heard there names in years. I'll never have time to read the whole report, but it's obvious that they caught there big fish, hook, line and sinker(pun intended). Clemans is all over that thing and he got caught dead to rights. Lots of Yankees on there and I couldn't be happier, fuck them. I know every team had guys doing roids but take a look at this I received from Frenchy.


2000 World Series
Game 1 Starter
Andy Pettitte (steroids)
Yankees win
Game 2 Starter
Roger Clemens (steroids)
Yankees win
Game 3 Starter
Orlando Hernandez
Mets win
Game 4 Starter
Denny Neagle (steroids)
Yankees win
Game 5 Starter
Andy Pettitte (steroids)
Yankees win
Winning pitcher of record in both games 1 and 5 : Mike Stanton - Roider
Yankees Steroid Users in 2000 World Series:
30.2 IP, 5 ER, 1.46 ERA
Non-Steroid Users:
16.1 IP, 9 ER, 4.95 ERA

I think Baltimore Orioles 2nd Baseman Brian Roberts got screwed in this whole thing. His name is on the report because Larry Bigbie thought he heard him say he took them once. Maybe he did take them, he did have an unreal first half as far as home runs go a few years ago. But to be included with Bonds, Giambi, Clemans and Sheffield just because an other guy in the report overheard you say that you did them once, as The Gooch would say FUCK THAT.

Canseco: A-Rod got off hook
More than 80 players were named in one capacity or another in the Mitchell Report, but Jose Canseco was certain there would be at least one more name in the document: Alex Rodriguez. Canseco, who was one of the players named by Sen. George Mitchell in the report, told the Fox Business Channel he was surprised not to see A-Rod's name in the report. "All I can say is the Mitchell Report is incomplete," Canseco said. "I could not believe that (Rodriguez's) name was not in the report."

I think Canseco's comments should be bigger news. Time has proved that everyone that Canseco says did roids has done roids. McGwire, Palmero, Pudge, Juan Gonzalez, ect. . Without Canseco there would be no Mitchell Report, no book of shadows none of this. Having said that Canseco is still a complete dickhead.

If Paxton Crawford was doing steroids, then what was the hooker that beat him up taken?

I think the best thing to come out of this Mitchell report is that Nook Logan's real first name is Exavier. You know his parents just wanted to name him Xavier but didn't know how to spell it, then got tired of saying Exavier so they just called him Nook.

Also in Sports The Houston Texans beat down the fraudulent Denver Broncos last night. Maybe Mario Williams was the right choice after all. The B's lost to NJ last night, I don't follow hockey too much but it seems that the Bruins never beat NJ, but there having a good year and I assume there next game is sometime this weekend. Also the the C's take on Milwaukee tonight at the Garden.

I forgot about Birthdays yesterday, which I'm sorry for because I wanted to honor Steve Buscemi. One of the top actors around, he's played dozens of unforgettable characters over the years. Check out the list of great movies Buscemi has been in.

Big Fish, Big Daddy, The Wedding Singer, Con Air, Fargo, Billy Madison, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and of course The Search For One Eyed Jimmy.

Steve also played Tony B. in the the Soprano and was a NY Firefighter before it was cool to be a NY Firefighter.

Today's Birthdays include Prognosticator Nostradamus, who was most known for predicting the Patriots 20-17 victory over the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. Unbelievable, I hope he bet the money line.

The Cartoon at the top of the blog was provided by Jimmy Scorner. Please check out Jimmy and the rest of the MD crew @ http://ballfaces.blogspot.com/. Very Funny Stuff

Finally, a very BIG UPS to my aunt Colleen, who took up 2 parking spots, so I could get one when I finally got home. It's kind of cheating, but my family has seniority on the block so tuff shit.

Look for tomorrows post late tomorrow night, were I'll touch on my day at the Stone, my NFL Sunday Preview and maybe even pics of the family Christmas Tree.

SNOW!!

Here we go. The first snow "storm" of the season. Time for people to totally overreact and for the news channels to go all weather all the time because a few inches of snow are going to fall. Snow in New England!? Wow who would of thought, how could we possible survive this.

Snow is such a pain in the ass. Soon as you step out the door your shoes and socks get soaked, your feet get itchy, then your pants get wet, the whole scene is uncomfortable. Then you get in your car and there's traffic everywhere, your windows are fogged you use 4 gallons of wiper fluid a day. Then you get to were your going and you have to take your shoes off before you step inside or you track nasty water mud all over the place. Also is there anything nastier then 2 days after the storm all the black exhaust stained snow everywhere, snow blows(pun intended)

The C's won again last night, staying perfect at home. Huge game for Glen Big Baby Davis. I was totally wrong about this guy but it looks Danny Ainge has another 2nd round find. The C's don't win last night without Big Baby who was filling in for the injured the big toe captain. C's host Milwaukee Friday night. Also in sports the B's won again that Auld dude is now 3-0 and UMass beat BC in College.

The comic review-
New Avengers-Good brawl here The hoods crew vs. The N.A's. Turns out the Hood is some crazy demon that Dr.Strange seemingly defeated, but he came back at the end to free all his thugs from S.H.I.E.L.D. custody, the conclusion next month will be very interesting.
New Warriors-So Tony Stark is behind the N.W's, big deal he's behind everything.
Nova-Great comic. Nova and Cosmo the dog defeated The Abyss. As a return favor Cosmo transported Nova to the Phalanix home world, but what Nova doesn't know is that Drax and Gomorra killed a bunch of Cosmo's people and use there technology to chase Nove.
Punisher: War Journal-That new Kraven is a crazy prick and now he's captured Frank all the while GW Bridge is putting together a team to take the Punisher down.
Wolverine-Classic Logan, going back to Japan laying waste to dozens of ninja's and even The Shogun, now he goes head to head with some pissed off old Japanese guy that was supposed to be dead.
Fantastic Four-I knew Richards didn't just waste Namor like that. But it was great to see the Dr.Doom of the future slap around the FF. He had them beat until the FF of the future caught up to him.
X-Factor-Not much here. Wolverine and X-Factor continued to try to find Cable, but the purifiers and the chick wit the razor hands found him first. Cyclops is acting like a douche bag, no big surprise there. Also Rictor and Layla were captured by the mutant hating people of 2087.

Tomorrow-My reaction to the Mitchell report and Fuck Face Friday

Snoop Bloggy Blog

Why does Arthur Blank owner of the Atlanta Falcons have to make a statement that his "if Mike Vick eats too much fried chicken and french fries while he's in jail, he'll gain weight" comment was not racially motivated. Ridiculous, anyone that eats fried food will gain weight not just blacks. Also white people eat fried chicken too. Fried chicken and french fries is exactly what I had for dinner last night, which I'm sure you all know because Mr.Higgins mentioned it in his blog last night. Sticking to sports, great TV night tonight, Celtics play Sacramento, BC and Umass play each other in college hoops and the B's are playing someone.


Happy Birthday Frank Sinatra and Bob Barker. I wonder if Old Blue Eyes had his pets spaded or neutered.

I had no idea that Kelly came face to face with Ross Weber again at the 5 year reunion, that must have been though on her, after all HE DIDN'T EVEN USE A BLANKET! But Valerie made him fell like a fool in the end. I tell ya, nobody dishes out revenge while beaming through her dress like my girl Val.

Check in tomorrow for my recap of the Celtics game and I'll be reviewing any of the new comics I get around to reading. Also look for my reaction to the Mitchell Report sometime toward the end of the week.

Comic Preview

Fantastic Four-Should be interesting. What has Reed Richards been doing during the Super Heroes Civil War that will endanger the future and did he really waste the Namor of the future like that?

New Avengers-N.A. vs. The Hoods crew good donnybrook and also hopefully some news on the Secret Invasion

New Warriors-Blah, Blah Night Thrasher disbanded the team and Jubilee is pissed, just tells us if that's the real night Thrasher and get on with it.

Nova-Great story, Nova battling foes at the nexus of the universe. His new ally Cosmo is a great and I'm sure Drax and Gomorra aren't far behind

Punisher War Journal-Kraven the Hunter's son is picking up were his old man left off, but now Frank Castle is hunting him.

X-Factor-The Messiah Complex continues, Do the X-Men really think Cable had the sentinels attack them, why does Cable even have that baby and why isn't he dead.

Tuesdays with Florie

Why do people feel the need to make conversation, why not just hi and if you have nothing else to say just keep going, instead of saying "it's cold, huh" . I know it's cold, I'm not hard of feeling, I'm not numb. It's December, of course its cold, it's going to get a lot colder you don't have to say "it's cold" just because you have nothing else to say to me.

Tuesday is the Mr.Stordy of weekdays, it has no redeemable qualities at all. But readers of the blog will have something to look forward to. Every Tuesday I'll be previewing the Wednesday comic releases, so now we have that going for us.

Opening Post

I drove to work with a friend of mine Seamus. He was telling me about his blog, I read it, and liked it. It got me to think that my opinions, principles and ideas need a forum, so here is my blog. I assume someday they'll be teaching my words in schools across the country if not the world. By reading this blog you've already improved as a human being. I hope to post almost everyday and I hope you enjoy reading and maybe I can learn you something along the way.