Thursday, June 25, 2009

Here to stay, just like Herpies























So I'm sitting in work, the system we work on are uselessly( is that a real word?) slow. It's MLK day, nobodies in work so there's no one else to shoot the shit with via email. So I start starring at the ceiling and it dawns on me that I have blog I've been meaning to get back to.

I've tried to keep to a format were I wrote every so often to keep the blogs a little longer and backed my options and ideas up with facts, which took research. Well I don't have time for that shit anymore. So if I have something that I deem blog worthy, it's going on. A lot like the way Jake Delhomme plays quarterback. I have a ball, fuck it, I might as well throw it and see where it lands. I'm still going to try to stick to a weekly format but things may just pop up on here mid week as well.


I'll start with the news this week that Taliban militants wearing explosives vests went bonkos in the middle of the Afgan capital city Kabul shooting up shit and blowing shit up like they do best. But something doesn't see right. Just the other day Martha Coakley told me the Taliban and Al Queda were out of Afghanistan and U.S. and N.A.T.O. forces should just leave. So the question is, whom could of carried out this brazen act of terrorism if the Taliban isn't in Afghanistan. Someone should hire O.J. to find out the real killers.

I still really can't believe Scott Brown won. That goes to show you, if your a cunt, even a cunt that's made it somewhere in life, there's going to be a point in time when society calls you out on being a cunt and it's all downhill from there. That's what happened to Martha Cuntly.



















Is there anything worse for those of us that work in an office than the broad that comes back from vacation. You got to hear every little detail even though you never asked for any of them. Then she says "The weather was nice, but it got colder at night...." OH IT WAS COLDER AT NIGHT WHERE YOU WERE!!? WHO WOULD OF GUESSED THE TEMPERATURE WOULD DROP WHEN THE SUN IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FUCKING PLANET. WOW I THOUGHT THAT ONLY HAPPENED IN BOSTON!

I think I may be on board with this Armageddon in 2012 shit. All the signs are there. The Earth is so unstable, itself and it's people. Earthquakes, Tsunami's, human greed and ruthlessness, the Jets going to the AFC conference finals. Seriously it's all falling apart.




























My heart just aches for that Tila Tequila.It's been a rough few months for the poor darling. First this summer Pro Bowl Linebacker Shawn Merriman gives her the "Lights Out!" treatment. Now her fake lezbo fiancé' od's and croaks. Poor kid just can't catch a break.





























This football season couldn't of worked out any worse. One of the Pats top 2 rivals is going to the Super bowl against either twatface Farve or Chocolate city. Fuck


Finally, something me and President Obuma agree on:


Denver Public Schools are for some reason apologizing after a school's menu read: "In Honor of M.L. King." "Southern Style" chicken, collard greens, sweet potatoes and peach crisp"
The districts web site states: "The plan to serve a Southern-style meal in recognition of Martin Luther King Day" and that's exactly what they did. What's the big fucking deal. Dr.King was in fact a Southern man, a Southern black man, whom I'm sure as shit ate "Southern Style" chicken, collard greens, sweet potatoes and peach crisp. It's ok for every restaurant from her to Timbuktu to serve corned beef and cabbage on St.Patrick's day. No one gets offended, everyone just pretends they like it and orders it.

A pretty cool story to come out of the Haiti disaster:

Junior Florestal left Haiti when he was 13 for a better life in the United States. He long promised to return, but it took an earthquake to bring him back.
Florestal is one of at least three Haitian-American paratroopers in the 82nd Airborne Division helping get sorely needed food, water and supplies to survivors of the magnitude-7.0 earthquake that shattered this capital city last Tuesday. His unit learned it would leave the following day, giving Florestal hope he could both bring aid and track down dozens of relatives living in Port-au-Prince and in villages surrounding the capital.

"I was ready to go that day," he said. "When I was watching it on TV in the States, I couldn't wait to get back here and help out."

Florestal joined the Army in 1996 and has served twice in Iraq and once in Afghanistan. He's fluent in Creole. Since arriving Saturday, he has been translating for officers who coordinate relief efforts from the division's base on a hillside golf course.

"It helps to have someone with a similar background," said Capt. John Hartsock, who has been overseeing food distribution with the Fort Bragg, North Carolina-based division.

Quake survivors implore the soldiers in halting English for more food and water and for medical help. Florestal responds in Creole — and surprised Haitians waiting in lines slap him on the back and shake his hand.

"They feel good that there are Haitians in the U.S. Army," he said.

When Florestal hasn't been working as an interpreter, he's been asking quake victims if they have any information about his family. On Saturday, he walked up and down a makeshift barricade, questioning those waiting in line for food.

Amazingly, he found one of his cousins, who told him most of his family survived.

Later, he called his mother, who had been crying and still unable to reach any relatives in Haiti from her Orlando, Florida, home. She was overjoyed to hear that her sister and brother were alive, he said.





Fun Fact: Samoan boys are 56 times likelier to go to the NFL than American boys.

Now without further ado, The Gootch's B's Report

Glad to be back, Its almost the half way point of the season and the Bruins have been up and down all season and have been ravaged with injuries all season. Lucic, Savard, Bergeron and now Sturm have all been injured They have yet to play with there whole team intact and healthy yet this year and they have hung in there but lately they are showing signs of the injuries taking its toll. Luckily the injuries have not been major and will be getting everyone back but they still lack offense, their goaltending and defense has been very solid all season but you cant win scoring 1 or 2 goals a game. Chirelli has to make a move to get some offense and to push the guys they already have, its time we move some draft picks and prospect for some goal scoring, Iyla Kovalchuck is probably available but would cost us a lot and unless we can guarantee an extension I wouldn't make that move and go after someone like Teemu Selanne who is probably in his last season but still has some left in the tank, line him up with Savard and he could be all we need and another good match would be to make a move with Tampa bay who will be looking to unload some salary Lacavalierre and Martin St.Louis will surely be available and be good fits here. with 23 wins and 54 points we hold the current 7th spot in the East. Until next week, See you at the rink.









What's the deal with saying someone is cute as a button. Are buttons all that cute? I think 'I've seen some pretty fucking ugly buttons in my lifetime.



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When I went to post this blog, I realized I had some stuff in the hopper for a blog post sometime at the end of June. Here's that shit:

Like I said in my last post, you give the Mailer Demons a topic and we'll take it and run with it. After our opposite movies exercise we took a song title and replace the word "love" with "muff". Here's what we came up with:

You Give Muff a Bad Name-Bon Jovi
Elton John - Can You Feel the Muff Tonight?
Crazy little Thing called muff
That's the way Muff goes - Janet Jackson
Bee Gees - how deep is your muff?
The Power of Muff
All you need is Muff
Leona Lewis - Bleeding Muff
I Want to Know What Muff Is - Foreigner
what is the color of muff- Billy ocean
I Would Do anything for Muff (but I won't Do that)
Muff is a Battlefield
Is this muff?
Sade - this is no ordinary muff
On the wings of muff
Cant help falling in Muff with you
Whitney Houston - Saving all my muff for you
Muff me do- Beetles
Mariah Carey - I had a vision of Muff
Baby I muff your way - Peter Frampton
Groovy kind of Muff- Phil Collins
Burning Muff- Elvis
muff you, you muff me- Barney
Muff me tender- Elvis
have you ever really muffed a woman- Bryan Adams
Muff Will Keep Us Alive - Eagles
Muff Shack
Never Knew Muff Like This Before
Best Of My Muff - Eagles
Can't Buy Me Muff- The Beatles
Sunshine Of Your Muff- Eric Clapton
Ready For Muff- Bad Company
Modern Muff- David Bowie
Stop in the name of muff
Muff Rollercoaster
Muff Train
Caribbean Queen (No more muff on the run)
What's Muff got to do with it?
You might as well face it, you're addicted to muff
Muff rescue me
Muff and Tenderness- Al Green
Another sad muff song
Can't get enough of your muff
Your just a muff machine
muff stinks
Bad Company - Feel like making muff
Cradle of Muff - Billy Idol
everlasting muff
when muff comes to town
muff comes tumbling down
so this is muff
what's so funny bout peace, muff and understanding - Elvis Costello
all my muff-led zeppelin
muff on the rocks
muff boat captain-pearl jam
you don't know what muff is(you just do what you're told)
muff reign over me
Muff in an Elevator
Shake Your Muff- Debbie Gibson
Back Door Muff Affair, ZZ Top
just called to say I muff you
Punchdrunk Muff sick Sing-along
Put a little muff in your heart
Muff will conquer all
you've got to hide your Muff away
Muff Potion Number 9
Higher Muff - Steve Winwood
Why do fools fall in Muff
Radar Muff
Muff Child
Stop in the name of muff
Muff me 2 times
Interstate muff song
I Cant make you muff me-Bonnie Raitt
I Need Your Muff So Bad - Fleetwood Mac F/ Sting
Easy muffer
Muff Machine
When a man muffs a woman
U2-Pride (In The Name of Muff)
Dumb Muff - Stone Temple Pilots
Muff is a wonderful thing - Michael Bolton
Only fools fall in muff.


What a disgusting disgrace that Michael Jackson memorial was. That was no memorial service. To the celebrities that attended it was another chance to get he mug on camera for promotional reasons and one more chance for the attention starved Jackson family to ride Michael's coat tails on his way into the ground. Since when to memorial services turn into red carpet photo opportunities? If it wasn't disgusting enough, AL Sharpton had to go and get on his soap box, yelling and screaming about god knows what, again turning the death of a black person into another opportunity to promote himself. Telling MJ's kids in front of a billion people that there father wasn't weird. Was it really the time or place? Not to mention MJ was in fact weird, very fucking weird. Turning your face from black to white and cutting your nose off is weird. Sleeping in the same bed as 12 year old boys whom you hardly know is weird. Having McCauley Caulklin and a chimp as your drinking buddies is weird. Spending over $40,000 a month on prescription drugs is weird. Then they drag out Jackson's poor 11 year old daughter to speak about how good a father he was. To an 11 year old who doesn't know better I'm sure he seemed like a fine father. In the years to come as she gets older she'll realize a man who kills himself with drugs, leaving his 3 kids in limbo isn't a good father at all, he's a cunt. So what if he's the greatest entertainer Earth has ever seen, he's also the biggest freak the Earth has ever seen. At best Jackson was a creep who let young boys sleep in his bed with him. At worst he's a diddler who preyed on boys who's parents were ok with letting Michael toss there sons salad as long as they were getting paid. So while Jackson was the greatest of entertainers he was also the greatest of twats. Good Riddance, lets recycle his plastic face and bury that fuck. Go to hell Jackson and take Al Sharpton with you.

At least 12 people committed suicide simply because fucking Michael Jackson died. What the fuck! I wanted to commit suicide just know I live in a world were people off themselves due to a freak pedophiles death.






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I know I've said this before, but this time I mean it. A new and improved post every week. With with added correspondents to add too Gootch's B's report. I have access to some of the top minds in sports, music and politics at my disposal and I intend to use them. But I need help from the readers as well. I need more comments about what has been posted or anything that you'd like the blog to cover.

Next week Corporations and special interest take complete fucking control of the country and 2012 Olympic Curling preview.





Thanks for reading and remember to vote on the poll below.

I'm Tallent, I approve of this message and run prevention.

2 comments:

Brother of the Gootch said...

What's up with the date? We need to correct that so people know this isn't some fly-by-night operation. Shit has to be legit! I'm always willing to add a social/political prspective to the blog. The blog is an important part of the social fabric of the city and helps us all to understand what makes some of the douchebags we encounter tick. In short, I'm so happy to see that Tallent is back.
--Brother of the Gootch

curmudgeon said...

BWAHAHAHAH!!!
Fucking hilarious. I'm going to have to remember that 'muff' thing.

Later.