Ted's Head

Last week I had "pleasure" of taking a weekend cruise out to sea on the Norwegian Dream. Let me tell you, I would of rather been on the Titanic or even the RMS Lusitania.
The boarding of the ship was supposed to begin at 11:30 a.m. They didn't start the boarding until 1:30. Even though my group was at the very beginning of the line, by the time we got through the boarding process it was almost 3 P.M. After boarding, the ship had exactly one restaurant open for lunch. Since everyone on the ship stood in line through there normal lunch times, everyone on the boat went to that one restaurant, which created a crowed, uncomfortable, lousy situation.
Then my cousin received a Coors Light that tasted like a skunks grundle. We had all hoped this was an isolated incident, but unfortunately this was the norm. Out of a bucket of 6 Silver Bullets you'd be lucky to get 3 good ones. Actually you were lucky to get a drink at all. It took an average of 25-30 minutes to get a drink, but at least the servers were unpleasant. No one likes a bartender or waitress that smiles.I'll get back to the service and amenities in a minute but I got to tell you about the beautiful view we had for 7 hours while we sat in dry dock. A great view of the back of the Edison plant and some broken down piers. Being a Southie resident all my life I had always hoped to one day seen the other side of the Edison Plant.

So out to dinner we go, another long line to get a table, but by then we were used to that. We put in the order for the ordinary food they had, but I guess they thought the warm tap water they give you would be enough because no one bothered to ask if we wanted something to drink. After 3 trys to get a drink order we were informed, that even though the boat hadn't even moved from the dock, the ship was out of Coors Light, Bud Light & Miller Lite. So the beer choice was left to Amstel Light, Corona, and Bud, none of which had twist off caps, and I guess opening a beer was just to much to ask the bartender.
So when the boat finally moved, the captain decided to to drive the ship straight into a storm and drop anchor. While I was heading back to my room the first night, I was surprised that I was able to get drunk, even though I was only able to get a drink every 40 minutes. But then I realized that I wasn't drunk, I couldn't walk straight because the boat was rocking and shaking worse than Muhammad Ali.
Turns out all cruise ships have a stabilizer, in case of bad weather the whole boat doesn't get sick. In this case Norwegian, didn't feel like fixing there stabilizer.
I think it was a combination of the rough seas and drinking beers older than Mike Timlin, but I haven't been so sick since that Ronald Regan film. The whole boat was throwing up, it reminded me of the "Lard Ass" scene from stand by me.
So to sum up the trip. Lousy service, lousy amenities, lousy drinks, lousy food, lousy cruise line.

I'm not really a religious man but over the weekend my prayers were definitely with Sen. Ted
Kennedy who suffered 2 seizures. I prayed night and day, that he'd have 2 more seizures each one being worse than the next.
On a serious note it turns out Sen. Kennedy has a brain tumor, Even though the Governor of California disagrees with that diagnosis

I understand he's been in the Senate for 46 years but, there's entirely way too much news coverage for a guy that isn't even dead. You don't hear anything in the main stream media about Jaime Martinez, who's suffering from the same affliction. Jaime's cum created the greatest pitcher in the modern era of Major League Baseball, the world should recognize and honor him for that.

In North Carolina on Tuesday, John McCain outlined his judicial philosophy and vision.
As president, John McCain will look for accomplished men and women with proven records of excellence in the law and proven commitments to judicial restraint to serve on the federal bench. The proper role of the judiciary has become one of the defining issues of this presidential election. The next president will nominate hundreds of qualified judges to the federal courts and the impact of these choices will reach far into the future.
John McCain will bring care, thought and deliberation to the process of selecting his judicial nominees. The nominees will be men and women of experience, wisdom and humility who do their work with impartiality and honor. They will be faithful to the Constitution and understand that there are clear limits to judicial and federal power. Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito will serve as the models for John McCain’s judicial nominees.

Jimmy Skorner has struck again. Just weeks after breaking the news on the big Van Wilder, Scarlett Johannsen argument in Boston, Jimmy got the Rob Lowe farting on the Celtics scoop. With Boston becoming Hollywood east, it's great that a friend of B?IHKH! is fast becoming his own personal page 6. You can read Jimmy's at his blog http://freeu2tickets.blogspot.com/ and on Ball Faces.


Even when I was 12, I couldn't figure out why the New Kids on the Block were so successful. Now 16 years later and there back and shows are sold out from here to Whales Vagina. I just don't understand humans.

Birthdays
May 13th-Smoker, Joe Louis; great actor Harvey Keitel who starred in Tallent Choice Movies, From Dusk til Dawn, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs Taxi Driver and also very good movies Little Nicky, U571, & Copland; Famous singers, Stevie Wonder & Peter Gabriel; ex-NBA star Dennis Rodman, who if people don't know was a very good NBA player, border line Hall of Famer, and hot chick Sunny Leone
May 14th-Money grubbing Star Wars creator, George Lucas; actor Tim Roth who's stared in Tallent choice movies Four Rooms, Pulp Fiction & Reservoir Dogs, Roth stars in his most important role next month in the eagerly awaited Incredible Hulk Sequil; MLB star Roy Halladay
May 15th-MLB star pitchers John Smoltz & Josh Beckett; NFL greats Emmitt Smith & Ray Lewis and hot chick Jamie Lynn Sigler
may 16th-NY drunk Billy Martin, Bond Actor Pierce Bronson; Donna Martin

and hot chicks Janet Jackson, , Kaila Yu, and Megan Fox
May 17th-NBA star Tony Parker, & boxing legend Sugar Ray Leonard
May 18th- Funny and Pretty Tina Fey
May 19th-Wrestler Andre the Giant, who also won an academy award for best supporting actor for his roll as Fezzek in, A Princess Bride; Celtics role player KG; Gas Man Scott Collins, & Seeker, Substitute and Pinball Wizard Pete Townshend
May 20th-Star of one of the greatest Movies of all time "It's a Wonderful Life" James Stewart; Joe Cocker, ahaha Cocker? I hardly know her! Wendy's founder Dave Thomas; and Deadwood star Timothy Olyphant.
May 21st-TV legend Mr.T; Honarable Judge Reinhol; & porn star Briana Banks
May 22nd-Reconstructive elbow surgery,Tommy John; crazy ass hot chick Naomi Campbell, and hot chick Katie Price.

Thanks for reading.

"I'm Tallent and I approve of this message and Cherry Coke"